In tribute to this age of eavesdropping, I present the following lyrics to the tune of the Yuletide classic, "Do You Hear What I Hear?"
Do you know what we hear?
You're cursing because the air went out of your inflatable reindeer.
Do you know what we see?
You can't decide if you want to watch a naughty movie or Frosty on TV.
Do you know what we know?
You're buried up to your neck in a mix of ice and snow.
A surveillance camera here, a concealed mic there, and you don't even want to know what we've hidden in your thermal underwear.
We're peeking in your mailbox
And checking your list twice
You might even find a bug in your pumpkin spice
We'll be watching, so be sure to play nice!
Vin Morabito, Scranton