Here's your recap of last night's Phillies game:
I would have left without speaking to the press, too.
THROW IN THE TE'O
It takes a lot for Manti Te'o not to come to your party.
You'd think there'd at least be some reluctance from the Te'o camp after Maxim put his girlfriend in their top 100 – but then just included a picture of a bathing suit. Because she wasn't real, you see.
So it must have been the allure of Maxim's top humorists that brought Te'o to a party thrown by the magazine.
Or maybe he's just starved for social interaction after becoming the only player at Chargers camp not allowed to speak to the press. In either case, we can be sure he enjoyed a lovely evening of classic, culturally relevant jokes. For instance – you hear about this Manti Te'o guy? Girlfriend doesn't exist.
Phillies baseball wasn't always about 5-1 losses and who isn't speaking to the press. These was a time when this team was all about winning 102 games and coming together to wrangle sea monsters in the dark.
Pictures like these... help us forget.
YOUR INFURIATING PARKING AUTHORITY INTERLUDE
You feel bad for these guys, because they look exhausted, and just want to finish their lunch. And then you think about all the times that pleading with a PPA worker accomplished nothing, or one of them watched you park and waited to ticket you the second your meter ran out, or told you that if you'd gotten back to your car one second quicker, they wouldn't have to finish writing out this ticket as you stand there, heaving and out of breath.
And then, suddenly, you don't feel so bad anymore.
[h/t Redditor drbarber]
WHITE SOX OBVIOUSLY TEMPTING TO PHIL JACKSON
Phil Jackson has said "no" to every coaching gig offered since his retirement, but that may be because they weren't coming from the right sport. Basketball seems to be in Jackson's rearview mirror, but when it comes to coaching, the Zen Master may be interested in trying his hand at baseball.
He's got an in with the owner of the White Sox, and has apparently made joking-but-not statements about his availability.
Of course, when Jackson's most famous player made the switch to baseball, the best thing that came out of it was a scene from Space Jam. So unless Jackson has his own '90s animated/live action hybrid to fall back on, he might want to proceed with caution.
TWO-YEAR-OLD FINALLY GETS HIS BIG CHANCE
When a toddler wanders away from the group, the shouts that follow are usually to stop them.
But the remains of a crowd after Chelsea FC's last match of the season couldn't have been more supportive of two-year-old Josh Turnbull – son of Chelsea FC's goalie Ross Turnbull – breaking away from the pack.