Obituaries don't typically read like SNL sketches, but the piece dedicated to the late Antonia Larroux is Onion-esque high comedy. The Mississippi woman had a paid obituary run in The New York Times on Saturday and Sunday. It had these wonderful gems to offer:

  • "Waffle House lost a loyal customer on April 30, 2013."

  • "Antonia W. "Toni" Larroux died after a battle with multiple illnesses: lupus, rickets, scurvy, kidney disease and feline leukemia."

  • "She had previously conquered polio as a child contributing to her unusually petite ankles and the nickname "polio legs" given to her by her ex-husband, Jean F. Larroux, Jr."

  • "Due to multiple, anonymous Mother's Day cards which arrived each May, the children suspect there were other siblings but that has never been verified."

  • "Her favorite child, Jean III, eloped in college and married Kim Fulford who dearly loved Toni."

  • "Her last words were, 'tell them that the check is in the mail…'"

  • "Her favorite activity was sipping hot tea on her back porch with friends seated around her porch ensemble from Dollar General (again, not kidding.)"

  • "This will be sold to the highest bidder at her garage 'estate' sale."

Check out the rest of hilarious obituary over at