DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl with a problem. Because of my buzzed short hair, slim hips and flat chest, I frequently get mistaken for a boy. It really bothers me because, despite my haircut and body shape, I have a feminine face and I wear women's clothes and makeup. I'm not too much of a tomboy.
Sometimes when someone addresses me with a male pronoun or in some other way mistakes me for a male, I'm too nervous to correct them. Is there a clever or witty way to correct the mistake?
- Not a Boy in Brooklyn, N.Y.
DEAR NOT A BOY: The person who made the mistake is the one who should be embarrassed, not you.
If it happens again, all you need to do is smile and say, "I'm all girl."
DEAR ABBY: A longtime friend asked me to be executor of her estate a few years ago, and I agreed. As time has passed, the details of the estate have changed several times. After the recent death of her husband, she again changed the beneficiaries, and is now leaving almost half a million dollars to two animal shelters.
It's her money to do with as she chooses, and I don't judge her. I do, however, have a problem executing an estate that gives that much money to animal care when it could help so many people. I don't fault her for wanting to do it; I just don't want to be part of it.
I'm afraid that asking her to find another executor would damage or end our friendship. Please tell me what to do.
- Dilemma in Texas
DEAR DILEMMA: Let's face it. You are judging the woman and you do fault her for wanting to leave a fortune to four-footed needy creatures instead of bipeds.
Because you are uncomfortable with her plan, you must tell her she needs to find another executor who is as committed to animal causes as she is. You'll be doing her a favor.