Some sportswriters with too much time on their hands recently decided to rate the best and worst picks ever at each slot in the first round of the NFL draft.
To no one's surprise, there were no Eagles in the "best" category.
But there were three Eagles' selections among the all-time worst at each spot.
The premise of the piece was simple: Look at every No. 1 draft pick and decide which player was the greatest all-time No. 1 pick. The author, Charles Robinson of Yahoo Sports, chose John Elway of Denver, while admitting that Peyton Manning of Indianapolis may be the winner in another 10 years.
Robinson did this with each slot, ranking such luminaries as Jerry Rice as the best No. 16 pick ever, and Emmitt Smith as the best No. 17.
Then the real fun began - Robinson began rating the worst pick at each spot, with former Penn Stater Ki-Jana Carter (by Cincinnati) rated the worst No. 1 pick in NFL history, and Ryan Leaf (by San Diego) the worst ever at No. 2.
Such total NFL busts as Akili Smith, Art Schlichter and Lawrence Phillips followed.
The Eagles got up on the board with offensive tackle Kevin Allen, their first-round choice in 1985, who was rated the worst No. 9 pick in NFL history.
A convicted rapist who did prison time after doing little for the Eagles except sleep through practices, Allen may have been the worst first-round pick ever.
The Birds struck fool's gold again in 1994, choosing offensive tackle Bernard Williams at No. 14. Williams, who had NFL ability, started every game that fall.
But he was suspended for using marijuana after that season and never played again. According to Yahoo, he eventually failed the league's drug test 15 (that's fifteen) times before finally moving to the CFL, which does not administer drug tests.
He was an easy choice as the worst No. 14 ever.
Then comes the piece de resistance: Jon Harris.
A lanky (OK, skinny) defensive end from Virginia, Harris wasn't even that good a college player - he couldn't earn a starting spot for every game as a senior. But the Birds took him with their first-round choice, and he's rated the worst No. 25 pick ever in the draft.
No argument. Harris lasted only two seasons and was so overmatched, he never got another look after Green Bay cut him in training camp before his third season.
Right now, I can hear voices yelling "where are such stiffs as Freddie Mitchell and Jerome McDougle? How 'bout that Leonard Renfro?"
Mitchell, the Birds' No. 1 in 2001 was, like Harris, a No. 25 overall selection. Freddie was overrated and overhyped, but he wasn't totally incompetent.
McDougle was the No. 15 pick in 2003 and is still with the team. The worst No. 15 pick, according to Yahoo, also was among the few bad first-rounders ever made by former Pittsburgh coach Chuck Noll - linebacker Huey Richardson.
A heralded all-American at Florida, Richardson was cut before his second season by new coach Bill Cowher. Even Harris lasted two seasons with his original club.
Renfro, one of the monster turkeys ever to grace the draft lists, was a No. 24 pick. But so was Southern Cal quarterback Todd Marinovich. He was so bad, even the Raiders couldn't stomach him, and cut him after just two seasons.
PhilaTrivia. Name the only Penn Stater the Eagles have drafted in the first round.
Things to think about.
How dumb do 29 general managers feel right now after they refused to deal for Jon Lieber in the off-season?
How giddy must Ken Hitchcock have been in Columbus when the rumors of Bob Clarke's taking over the Blue Jackets hit the air?
If Brett Myers is the closer of the future, why not put him there now and let him work on his craft, before the team enters the final month in a pennant race?
Is Larry Brown secretly entering the witness protection program? The Grizzlies aren't even the top basketball attraction in Memphis, let alone a top NBA team.
Even if Curt Schilling took a knife and cut open his ankle on national television, there are people who would say it was paint, not blood, on his sock.
The only team from Boston, New York or Philadelphia to make the playoffs in the NBA or NHL this season was the Islanders, a stepchild most Noo Yawk-ahs scorn. The Bruins, Celtics, Rangers, Knicks, Flyers and Sixers all have been on the golf course for weeks.
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, the son of a former senator from New York, said the league is considering playing a Super Bowl outside the United States. Senators from all 50 states will introduce legislation tomorrow to prevent such an outrage.
After Friday's games, the vaunted Yankees were 8-13 while the once-stumbling Phillies were 10-12.
Trivia answer. The Eagles chose Penn State's Kenny Jackson, a wide receiver, with their first-round pick in 1984.