Steve and Mia | Her reunion fling spiced up bedroom

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.

Q: A few months ago, I attended my 25th high school reunion. I ended up having too much to drink and sleeping with one of the "popular guys" from my class. Feeling guilty, I confessed to my husband. But he was turned on, and our sex life has never been better. He even said he wouldn't mind if I slept with other guys. I feel like a slut, but I've never enjoyed sex more. Am I normal?

Mia: What is normal anyway? Is it dressing up like doctors and nurses, putting on bondage gear or going to swingers clubs? I don't think defining normal is the issue here. The issue is you and your husband setting boundaries for your sex life that you both are comfortable with.

Talk to him about what you want and what you fear could be damaging to your marriage. I'm not sure you need to bring other people in to spice up your love life.

Steve: I'm guessing that "feeling like a slut" is not a good thing. Figure out what you can do that excites your husband, but makes you feel good, too. Maybe you can fantasize about third parties.

Q: My husband is wonderful to me most of the time - kind, generous, loving. But whenever he has more than a few drinks he grows belligerent, cruel and dismissive. He doesn't drink a lot, but I would say a couple of times a year he gets like this. What should I do?

Mia: Have a quiet talk with your husband and ask him to consider getting treatment for alcohol abuse. Even though it's not frequent, this is obviously damaging your relationship and putting you in upsetting situations.

Steve: Anyone who becomes abusive after he drinks, no matter how rarely, has a drinking problem. Make a joint appointment with a health professional to discuss your next step.

Q: I was just reading your recent column in which you got an e-mail from a 31-year-old single woman who said she was shy and wanted to know where to go besides bars. Well, I am a 34-year-old single male. Do you guys ever play matchmaker? Could you ask this girl if she has the courage to go on a blind date, or at least talk to someone through e-mail? If so, please get back to me and I will let you know any info you or she may need.

Steve: Steve and Mia don't play matchmaker because the odds don't work for us. Most relationships fail, and we'd prefer not to be blamed.

Mia: I second that. Find your own dates. Oh, and all those prisoners and ex-cons out there? Please stop sending me your photos.

Q: I sent you guys a question that you recently answered. Thank you very much. The advice you gave me was the same that everybody else I spoke to has given me. You convinced me to extinguish the torch for this former girlfriend and move on. I just sent out e-mails to everyone in my address book informing them of my decision. I'm excited but still pessimistic, because I've been down this road too many times to be optimistic.

Mia: Just stick to it this time. Everyone in your life and Steve and Mia can't be wrong!

Steve: Optimist only sees doughnut, pessimist sees hole. Best to find balance to see both. *