Q: I'm upset that my girlfriend wants to have breast-reduction surgery. I like her body the way it is. She's very beautiful, but she says this is something that she's always wanted to do. I've tried everything, but haven't been able to persuade her not to go through with it. What if her breasts increase in size after we have kids? What if, after this, she moves on to another part of her body?
Steve: Is that why you love your girlfriend? Because of her body? This means you're not into long-term relationships, because everyone's body changes with time, surgery or not.
There's nothing wrong with your complimenting her parts, but she controls her body, not you. This Lesley Gore song ("You Don't Own Me," by Philadelphia songwriters John Madara and David White) will school you:
Mia: Your letter reminds me of one we got from a man who wanted his girlfriend to have breast augmentation, to make them bigger. You don't want your girlfriend to make hers smaller. Do you see the common theme here? Men trying to control what women do with their own bodies.
You're not even her husband, yet you're trying to call the shots. Boy ... bye!
Q: My husband and I are separated and getting divorced after 10 years. But we still kick it in the bedroom - mostly on the days when he brings the kids back from a visit. I try to stop myself, but old habits are hard to break. I'm not seeing anybody, and he always was pretty good in bed, even if he is a jerk and a cheat.
Mia: You so nasty. You said he was a cheat, right? Yet you allow him to crawl back in your bed. I hope you're using a condom.
Either way, you are asking for trouble. Moving on is hard enough. Add in the fact that you still like to "kick," and it will only make things worse. Where's your self-respect? You need counseling.
Steve: I'd try to clean that up, if I were you, and find a decent man. In the meantime, I understand if you agree with Tina Turner: "What's Love Got to Do With It?" youtube.com/watch? v=oGpFcHTxjZs
Here's a letter from a reader. Note: Steve & Mia refrain from playing matchmaker:
Dear Steve & Mia,
Been enjoying your column for a long time. Couldn't help but be intrigued by last week's headline. ("Her sex drive's in high gear; where can she run?")
Don't usually do things like this and don't know if you two ever have or are even allowed to play matchmaker. But I figured this is the only way I'd ever be able to meet "High Gear in her 40s."
I'm 53 and single, and I think all my friends (male and female) would say I'm a pretty good guy. I would love to meet her for a drink. If this is doable, you could certainly forward her my email address. If not, that's OK. I took a shot. Thanks for your time, and I look forward to next week's column.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of