She doesn't know what to do with shy guy who won't try
Q: I'm seeing this guy who's really nice, but has very little sexual experience. He's easily embarrassed and acts really nervous if I so much as sit really close to him on the couch. He's a really nice person. He and I work together. I was really excited
Q: I'm seeing this guy who's really nice, but has very little sexual experience. He's easily embarrassed and acts really nervous if I so much as sit really close to him on the couch. He's a really nice person. He and I work together. I was really excited when we started talking. But as far as intimacy, he's not very aggressive. He hasn't even kissed me real good yet. I know he likes me. I catch him staring at me at work all the time. But when I try to invite him over to my place or something, he acts all weird. Help.
Mia: Relax. Maybe dude is shy. You can try and talk to him about how odd his behavior is or else just back things up and see if he calms down and starts relaxing. Maybe he's just still feeling "new" with you. Give him a little more time. But if he is still giving off strange vibes, back off of him. Let him initiate contact. If he pursues you and asks what's going on, have a good long talk with him about how you're feeling. Some guys take longer to warm up than others.
Steve: You need to do some digging. Does he have a girlfriend? Is he married? Is he bisexual? Is he asexual? Get to know him a little bit longer as a friend only, and he will relax enough to answer those questions, if you present them in a friendly, unbiased way.
Q: My daughter is in college. She has invited her boyfriend to visit over the holidays. I think it's OK if he stays over since he's coming from out of town, but my husband won't allow it. He's really old-fashioned about these kinds of things. I'm of the mind-set that she's an adult, and we can't really control her. I could use some different opinions on how to handle this.
Steve: Would he not allow the boyfriend to stay in the house in a separate bedroom? Seems a bit unfair if that bedroom can be locked to make sure the boyfriend doesn't sneak to your daughter's room. Also, make sure the boyfriend doesn't wind up thinking your husband is "Psycho Dad."
Mia: Respect your husband's opinion. You don't have to agree. Just acknowledge that you feel different about the situation. As for your daughter, if she really wants to be with her boyfriend, and your husband doesn't want them together like that under his roof, suggest she get a hotel room while the boyfriend is in town. That way, your husband doesn't feel disrespected in his own house, and your daughter gets to do what she wants as well. Happy holidays.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of
answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or firstname.lastname@example.org.