Jessica Alba

, who is in a family way, expanded her family Monday by marrying

Cash Warren

, father of the baby she is expecting early this summer - or maybe late this spring - People.com reports. Jessica's rep confirmed the nuptials. The couple wed "quietly." So quietly that the story had none of the usual details, including where the event took place.

Alba, 27, and Warren, 31, met during the filming of

Fantastic Four

in 2004 - Warren was a director's assistant, and Alba played the Invisible Woman. They got engaged in December. Alba was quoted as saying she had been in "frantic nesting mode" preparing for the baby, a girl. Pregnancy has been tiring but satisfying, according to People, citing comments Alba made to Fit Pregnancy magazine: "This pregnancy has seriously mellowed me out, which is nice. I've been going, going, going for so long, it feels nice not to take things so seriously."

Harry's Twin

If Dirty Harry had a twin sister, she'd look just like

Angelina Jolie

.

Clint Eastwood

told a news conference at the Cannes Film Festival in France yesterday that he wouldn't play the rogue movie cop again. Too old, said Clint, who will turn 78 on May 31.

Then up spoke Jolie, who was at Eastwood's side, averring that she'd be happy to give the role a go.

"Dirty Harriet, and the 'Tomb Raider' will play it," Eastwood cracked, referring to Jolie's portrayal of tough, video-game-derived, tomb-raiding Lara Croft.

Eastwood was at Cannes for the premiere of his missing-child drama,

Changeling

, starring Jolie. The 32-year-old actress, who is expecting twins, was there not only for

Changeling

but also for the animated comedy

Kung Fu Panda

, which features her voice and premiered last week at the festival.

Dirty Harry

, released in 1971, is in the Cannes lineup this year as part of a retrospective of Warner Bros. classics. The film will also come out June 3 in a new DVD edition with the other four films in the

Dirty Harry

series.

Playing Harry Callahan, nemesis of baddies and bureaucrats, was "great fun," Eastwood said. "It was a fantasy role. You point a .44 Magnum at someone and say, 'Do you feel lucky?' "

Yamaguchi dances to gold

Olympic figure-skating champion

Kristi Yamaguchi

claimed another title last night: champion of ABC's

Dancing With the Stars

, defeating pro football star

Jason Taylor

.

Saying it with flowers

The late Beatle

George Harrison

is being remembered with a garden at London's Chelsea Flower Show, reports Britain's Telegraph newspaper.

It's an appropriate tribute, Harrison's widow,

Olivia

, told the Telegraph: "When he was home, he was always either in the recording studio or in the garden. Both were places where he became utterly absorbed, and we didn't like to disturb him."

The memorial is called "From Life to Life, a Garden for George" and is planted with thistles, vegetables, bright perennials, birches and roses.

As you 'like' it

Historian

David McCullough

, whose sonorous voice has graced many a PBS documentary and whose elegant writing has won two Pulitzer Prizes, has a request for America's - dare we say it? - increasingly inarticulate youth: Stop abusing the language.

In a commencement address Monday at Boston College, McCullough begged the graduates, "Please, please, do what you can to cure the verbal virus that seems increasingly rampant among your generation."

McCullough, whose biography of John Adams was recently made into a mini-series on HBO, professed himself vexed by the "relentless, wearisome use of words" such as

like

,

awesome

and

actually

.

"Just imagine if in his inaugural address John F. Kennedy had said, 'Ask not what your country can, you know, do for you, but what you can, like, do for your country actually,' " McCullough said.

The grads apparently approved of McCullough's disapproval of pubescent patois: They gave him a standing ovation. Or maybe they were just, like, impressed by the sound of his voice.

Trekking down the aisle

Now that same-sex marriage is legal in California,

George Takei

, who played Mr. Sulu on

Star Trek

, will wed

Brad Altman

, his partner of more than 21 years.

A delighted Takei made the announcement on his Web site. "No more 'separate but equal.' No more second-class citizenship," wrote Takei, 71, who had a recurring role on NBC's

Heroes

last year. "Brad and I are going to be married as full citizens of our state."

Broadway Katie

Katie Holmes

, whose descent to the Great White Way has been rumored for a few months, will, indeed, grace the New York stage.

Holmes, who starred in the TV series

Dawson's Creek

before taking on the real-life role of wife to

Tom Cruise

and mother to

Suri

, will appear this fall in a revival of

Arthur Miller

's

All My Sons

. The cast also will include

John Lithgow

,

Dianne Wiest

and

Patrick Wilson

.

Simon McBurney

will direct. Dates and theater will be announced, producer

Eric Falkenstein

said Monday. The play, which made its Broadway debut in 1947, was Miller's first Broadway hit.

Helping Haiti

Grammy-winning rapper

Wyclef Jean

is joining with the World Food Programme and the Pan American Development Foundation to help relieve the food crisis in Haiti, his native land.

Jean said at a New York news conference yesterday that the crisis in Haiti, one of the world's poorest countries, was unlike anything he had ever seen there.

The initiative, "Together for Haiti," aims to provide food, create jobs and support local agriculture. Organizers say the alliance will mobilize an urgent appeal to individuals, companies and foundations.

Splitsville welcomes new residents

Jermaine

and

Alejandra

Jackson

are a married couple no more. Los Angeles Superior Court has freed them from the marriage bond, according to papers filed Monday.

Jackson, a former member of the

Jackson 5

, agreed to pay Alejandra Jackson's $50,000 attorney fees as well as $50,000 for child-support back payments. The couple married in 1995 and filed for divorced in 2007. Their two children will live with Alejandra, and Jermaine will have visitation rights. He also will pay $3,000 per month in child support.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.

This column contains information from Inquirer wire services and from Web sites.