PETA, WHICH IS normally bitch-slapping some medical lab or fur-wearer, has chosen this year's best and worst films for animals.
Like you can bring your animal to the movies.
Tattle once asked a dog what his favorite movie was.
He said "Heat."
(Rim shot. Thank you very much.)
Anyway, PETA gave two paws up (Four paws up would be a bad sign) to:
_ "Marley & Me," for its message "that dogs are family members - for better or for worse."
_ "Bolt," which "reminds viewers that dogs would much rather be fetching balls in a back yard than performing confusing tricks on a film set."
_ "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian," which "used incredibly realistic alternatives to live animals."
(With so many humans out of work do we really need to replace animals with computers?)
PETA hisses went to "Speed Racer," for its on-set treatment of chimps; "You Don't Mess With the Zohan," which sends "the dangerous message that abusing animals is funny," and "Semi-Pro," which featured a grizzly bear provided by Predators in Action, often sanctioned for alleged animal-welfare violations.
* Richard Dreyfuss says his father
and uncle owe him nearly $4 million on an unpaid loan.
Dreyfuss sued the pair in August over the loan, but amended his suit this week to raise new allegations of financial wrongdoing. His complaint states that he lent his father and uncle $870,000 in the early 1980s to help them with an office building they own in downtown L.A.
In documents, Gilbert Dreyfuss denied that the loan was that old and stated that his nephew didn't have a large enough stake in the building to warrant repayment.
How big a stake does one need in order to get his money back?
* Whitney Houston is being sued
by her stepmother over the wishes of her deceased father.
According to court records, Barbara Houston claims Whitney improperly kept the proceeds from John Houston's $1 million insurance policy after he died in 2003.
The suit says Whitney was supposed to use $723,000 to pay off the mortgage she holds on his condo in Fort Lee, N.J.
Barbara, who still lives in the condo, claims that Whitney was also supposed to return the remaining insurance money to her.
Lawyers for both sides declined to comment. But there has to be a reality-TV-show idea here.
* Soulja Boy Tell
'Em says he's sorry for the dirty words in his Grammy-nominated hit "Crank That (Soulja Boy)."
"Over the past few months, I've had a chance to meet a lot of my fans face-to-face, and it made me realize that I got a large fan base of kids that look up to me," he said. "I have a greater responsibility to the kids that want to be like Soulja Boy (and) I need set a positive example for them."
A positive example, but not a role model.
"I wouldn't say a role model because I think parents or a guardian should be a kid's main role model, but from now on, I'm going to make sure that every kid that looks up to me will get a positive image that the kids and parents can trust," he said.
* Akon pleaded guilty yesterday to
harassment for tossing a male teenage fan off stage at an upstate New York concert last year. Another concertgoer said she suffered a concussion when the teen landed on her.
Akon will serve no jail time as long he performs 65 hours of community service and pays a $250 fine, according to the plea bargain in Fishkill Town Court.
After the plea, Akon shook hands with Anthony Smith, the now 16-year-old fan, and apologized to him and his parents.
* In Touch Weekly says Vince
Vaughn plans to propose to girlfriend Kyla Weber over the New Year's holiday. A Vince pal says the wise-cracking actor has picked out a $125,000, 4-carat, diamond engagement ring. "Vince is ready to get married and has been for a while," his buddy explains. "He wants to start a family."
* Lawyers for Lil
Wayne are seeking more time to turn over documents in response to a lawsuit that accuses Wayne of a Lil copyright infringement.
A suit filed in May claims Lil Wayne didn't have permission to sample the song "Once" by Karma-Ann Swanepoel.
The suit says Lil Wayne's record label, Cash Money, tried but failed to negotiate a license to use "Once" before millions of people downloaded the rapper's song "I Feel Like Dying."
* Gratuitous plug for
someone we knew back in high school, but haven't seen since:
Sean Altman, formerly of Rockapella (not to mention Moon Pudding with Broadway composer David Yazbek), is now Jewmongous.
At Monday's White House Hanukah Party, Sean gave Sen. Joe Lieberman a copy of his new CD, "Taller Than Jesus," then performed for President Bush, Jewish members of Congress and the grandsons of Israeli Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion and President Harry Truman.
The Jewmongous holiday show will be at World Cafe Live on Dec. 23.
* Canada's version of "American
Idol" is off the air in 2009.
Blame the economy.
We'd rather blame the talent. *
Daily News wire services contributed to this report.