Dear Abby: Reluctant commuter feels torn between great boss, closer job

DEAR ABBY:

I am 23 years old and I adore my job and my boss. There is only one problem - I must commute more than an hour each way, and the drive (especially with gas prices these days) is killing me.

I have been with the company for more than a year, and I recently heard that the parent corporation is hiring for a position similar to mine in the town that I live in. I desperately want to apply for the transfer, but I have no idea how to approach the subject with my boss, since I feel I owe her so much. She hired me for the position when I was fresh out of college with absolutely no experience.

Abby, help me! How do I ask to leave a job that I love?

- Satisfied Employee in Valdosta, Ga.

DEAR EMPLOYEE: You are confusing a business relationship with one that is personal. You are also not the first person to want to leave a job because the commute is tiring and expensive.

Go to your boss, tell her you heard a position is opening up close to home and that you would like to transfer for the reasons you told me. Then ask if she will put in a good word for you. When she hears why you want to be closer to home, I'm sure she'll do it.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Jonah," and I share a loving and fun relationship. Apparently, I am better than average-looking. I know this because people constantly ask my boyfriend, "Wow, how did you get her?" or, "Man, you must pay her to date you!"

I always give Jonah hugs and tell him how attracted I am to him, which is true. My problem is the attention I've been receiving has started to affect him. Now he makes comments about how fat he is (he's not), or that his skin is bad (everyone gets zits!), or that I should leave him for someone "better" looking.

Abby, I love this man and want to marry him. How do I convince Jonah that he's my hot, sexy boyfriend whom I love to pieces?

- Hot Mama in Oregon

DEAR HOT MAMA: I can't script you, but when Jonah starts putting himself down, try something like this: "You're not giving yourself - or me - enough credit. Life isn't a beauty contest. You appeal to me on many levels, and your looks are just part of the reason I'm attracted to you. Those other men are jealous of what we have together, and none of them can hold a candle to you."

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for a year. It's my second marriage and his first. Because we were unable to afford a wedding at the time, we married at the courthouse.

We are now having a wedding so we can share this with our family and friends.

Some of our friends and family think we are wasting money or looking for gifts. We have not registered anywhere and have made no gift requests. Are we making a mistake? Should we simply have taken the money we're spending on this special day and put it toward a trip for us?

- Blushing Bride in Michigan

DEAR BLUSHING BRIDE: Your mistake may have been in calling your celebration a "wedding." If you had called it a "renewal of vows with family and friends" it might have been more warmly received. As to whether you should have taken the money you're spending and used it for a honeymoon, I think it's a little late to be second-guessing yourself - don't you?

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self- addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby - Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)