Q: How does "steamy shower sex" work? Whenever I'm in water - hot, cold, soapy or not - my slippery areas aren't slippery anymore. What's the secret?


Steamy shower sex is extremely complicated. First, you have to create "steam." Technically, it's not really steam, since the water would have to be 212 degrees. Not even my wife, who gets comfortable around 200 degrees, likes her showers that hot.

What people called "steam" in this case is actually a mist formed by the moist warm air of the shower coming in contact with the cooler, drier air of the bathroom. This involves getting the shower water hot enough and the bathroom air cold enough to produce the "steam."

The next step in "steamy shower sex" is the shower itself. Is it a bathtub shower? Is it a stall shower? A bathtub can be very slippery and hazardous. But a stall shower can be quite confining.

The final ingredient of "steamy shower sex" is sex. As you note, this, too, is complicated. Water dries you out. Plus, if you keep your mouth open during sex in the missionary position, you could drown.

Here is my advice: Have sex in the back seat of your car on a cold night and fog up the windows. You get the same effect and it will be more fun.

Mia: It's all about the lube. The trick is to use a lubricant that contains silicone, so it doesn't wash off as easily.

A silicone-based lube might cost a bit more, but it's really worth it. But if you rely on the water-based one, that can work, too. But you have to position yourselves so it doesn't go straight down the drain. And don't substitute soap for lube. It's tempting, but it can be very irritating.

Q: My boyfriend loves me to keep my clothes on when we make love. I'm willing to play along now and again, but this is uncomfortable and makes a mess of my clothes. Do you have any advice on how to do this without an outrageous dry-cleaning bill? I'm curious to know how you make love without taking your clothes off. Don't you have to at least take them partially off? Can you and your partner make love with your clothes on, then go immediately to a business meeting without having to zip or button anything up? If so, please write back with details.


Mia: Sex with clothes on is so tantalizing. It makes you feel like you're so hot for each other that you can't wait to remove the layers.

As for how to save on dry cleaning, that's easy. Wear a skirt and climb onboard.