DEAR ABBY:

I have been married for 13 years to a good guy who is a great dad. We have two boys, ages 9 and 11.

The problem is, we don't communicate. We hardly have sex and we don't get along at all.

I feel like I have sacrificed physical and emotional intimacy so my kids can have both parents in their lives full time.

When I think of writing down my husband's attributes, all I can think of is that he's a good dad, good worker and helps out around the house.

But I have no problem coming up with a list of bad things.

Am I selfish? Should I just smother my emotions and go on like I have been all these years?

- Unfulfilled in Georgia

DEAR UNFULFILLED: It's not selfish to want emotional and physical intimacy with another person. It's normal, and your husband may miss it, too.

There's an alternative to ending your marriage, and that is fighting to save it. It would require effort from both of you and the services of a licensed marriage counselor.

However, if it works, I know you'll thank me. And if it doesn't, at least you will know you tried. Why not suggest to your husband that you make it your first New Year's resolution?