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Dear Abby: Domineering mother keeps her son on a short leash

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend "Alex's" mom is the most controlling person I have ever encountered. We only get to see each other on weekends because he lives an hour away from me. I'm 22 and he is 21.

DEAR ABBY:

My boyfriend "Alex's" mom is the most controlling person I have ever encountered. We only get to see each other on weekends because he lives an hour away from me. I'm 22 and he is 21.

He is also not allowed to stay with me. Alex has to lie to her about where he's staying in order to be able to spend time with me. His mom has added a feature to his cellphone in order to see where he is 24/7, and threatened to cancel his service if he refused to use it.

I love my boyfriend unconditionally, but his mom is driving us both crazy and turning our relationship into a trio. We have tried getting her to back off, but it just makes her worse. I am at a loss as to what to do. What do you think we should do?

- Extremely Worried in Mississippi

DEAR EXTREMELY WORRIED: Frankly, you should be worried. Your boyfriend is an adult who seems to be firmly under his mother's thumb. He is completely dependent. At 21, Alex's activities should not be monitored. If nothing else, he should be looking for a job so he can sever the umbilical cord before it strangles him.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Kristen" for seven months. She is great as far as personality, physical chemistry, similar likes and dislikes, and patience go. She is almost everything I have ever wanted in a girl. However, in my eyes, she's not beautiful.

I have always thought that anyone I'm planning on spending the rest of my life with would be "beautiful" to me, and I'd let her know accordingly. I can't discuss this with family or friends because I'm afraid they will think I'm shallow. Your thoughts?

- Not Shallow in Phoenix

DEAR NOT SHALLOW: Candidly, I think that despite all of her wonderful qualities, Kristen is not "the one" for you. And you are not "the one" for her because what she needs is validation you can't give her. Women need to feel beautiful in the eyes of the men they love, and because you plan to spend your life with someone who is beautiful "to you," you should both move on.