DEAR ABBY: Twice in recent years my husband has bought a gift for himself for Christmas, wrapped it, put it under the tree and then opened it on Christmas morning, gleefully exclaiming that it was a great gift and just what he wanted.
The first time he did it, he wrote my name on the gift card as the giver. The second time he didn't bother. When I asked him why, he said it was something he saw in the store and wanted. When I asked why he didn't just ask me to get it, he didn't have an answer.
I don't know what to make of his behavior, but it is demeaning and I feel angry for days afterward. He has a habit of comparing my gifts with those from his son or those he bought for himself, and it makes me feel as if mine don't measure up. My husband is 77. What's wrong with him?
- Perplexed in Florida
DEAR PERPLEXED: It appears you married someone who likes to buy on impulse and is insensitive to how his words and actions affect others. Look on the bright side: He's solved the problem of what to get the man who has everything for you!
However, because this is a recent change in his behavior, consider reporting it to his doctor.
DEAR ABBY: I'm attending a wedding in a few months. The bride has requested that all female guests not wear heels because they're a short couple. I don't have any flats that will go with my dress, so I will have to either buy new shoes or "disappoint" the bride.
I've been hearing stories about wedding guests being told what colors to wear. I think brides (and couples) like this are going too far. What do you think?
- Put Out in British Columbia
DEAR PUT OUT: I think that if the bridal couple would like to feel a few inches taller on their big day, and buying a new pair of shoes would stretch your budget, you should consider having an old pair of flats dyed to match your dress, or skip the festivities and send your good wishes.