OK, so, sure, traditionally it's the wedding first, then the fertility. You don't dress first, then shower. Do you?

But who says it has to be that way anymore? Not SideShow! All sorts of celebs are getting knocked, then hitched, up. Example: chanteuse Jennifer Hudson and her Harvard Law grad/world wrestler wannabe David Otunga. They're expecting and also, by the way, planning an undisclosed-date wedding. Latest in the pregnant-to-the-chapel sweepstakes? Kendra Wilkinson, 23, ex-Hugh Hefner homebunny and reality-TV unrealist (The Girls Next Door)! She told E! Online on Tuesday that she has a biscuit in the basket, courtesy of Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett, 26! Oh, yeah, and they're getting married June 27! At, like, the Playboy Mansion! Oh, oh, and, guys, her new show Kendra (about her and Hank!) (all is recycled! nothing is wasted!) debuted Sunday on E! And, well, um, Kendra has said she will, and has also said she doesn't know if she will, ask Hef to walk her down the aisle.

The Lauren Hill Mystery, Part MMCXXV

It's not known what her health concerns may be, though we'd like to know. In the 11 years (can it be!?) since her splendid Miseducation of Lauryn Hill album sold scads and got Grammys, Hill has been seen only rarely. A Fugees reunion in the mid-2000s got derailed by tensions with bandmates Pras and Wyclef Jean, as well as by her chronic tardiness and (say many) erratic behavior. She is said to (a) have a huge amount of unreleased material recorded and unreleased; (b) be working on a new album.

'Slumdog' star a slumdog no more

The filmmakers who created Slumdog Millionaire are being true to their word. The Jai Ho Trust, created by director Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson, has paid $50,000 to buy a one-bedroom apartment in Mumbai, India, for the family of Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, 10, one of the stars of Slumdog.

Much weird news has whirled round the younger, poorer stars of the Oscar-killer film. (How about them disputed reports that the father of costar Rubina Ali, 9, had tried to sell her?) Folks had to get snappy about finding a place, because the illegal shantyhouses of Ismail's family and that of Ali's had been flattened by the Indian government. There's this great program they've got, where they sweep through slums and destroy the houses of poor people. It's all good.

The Jai Ho trust is still looking for a place for Ali's family.

"We signed the papers [for the Ismail apartment] on Monday," a trust mouthpiece mouthed. "We have the keys and we will hand them to the family." That would be good. That way, they could let themselves in.

The property reverts to Ismail at age 18 - if he finishes his schooling. Hear that, young man? There are still weird details. The Indian government actually bought another apartment for Ismail's family, who evidently can keep both, though they'd then forfeit some benefits.

Or why not just give one of them to Ali's family? What? No one's asking us? Oh. OK.

Slow motion for me, Katie

Life & Style reported yesterday that Katie Holmes, the human half of the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes duo, is in serious talks to appear on Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. An inside mole says that "she's met with judge and producer Nigel Lythgoe" about being on the show. She's been ducking into dance studios around L.A. several times a week. Rehearsing!

Dave bonks Conan

Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show started pretty well, double-digit-whomping David Letterman's Late Night in the Nielsen ratings last week. But as of Tuesday, Dave's show, which had Julia Roberts on (and she took sides, naughty woman, saying Dave was the smartest guy at his hour on TV), outdrew Conan, who hosted Eddie Murphy. Come to think, that's not a fair fight. . . .

Different Dave biffs Eminem

Eminem's run at number one on the charts with his album Relapse is o-ver! The Dave Matthews Band notched its fifth straight No. 1 with Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King, an album dedicated to DMB saxophonist LeRoi "GrooGrux King" Moore, who died last summer after an ATV accident. Nielsen SoundScan says Big Whiskey sold 424,000 copies for the week ended Sunday, which is the best first week this year for anyone except U2. Dave and the band have now tied Metallica as the only bands to debut five consecutive studio albums at No. 1. BTW, rock-and-roll came up big last week. Uplifter by 311 debuted at number three (60,000 copies). Chickenfoot's Chickenfoot is at number six (49,000), New Again by Taking Back Sunday is at seven (48,000), and Let the Dominoes Fall by Rancid is at 11. And let's hear it for Elvis Costello at 13 with Secret, Profane & Sugarcane - his highest charting in nearly 30 years, back when years began with 19! Waiting in the wings: the Black Eyed Peas' The E.N.D., which strikes next week.

Dots, dishes, one or two fishes . . .

Sasha Obama turned 8 yesterday. Not a bad b-day party: She, sis Malia and mom Michelle toured Westminster Abbey and then headed to the Lyceum Theatre in London's West End to see The Lion King. Which do you think they liked better, the headstone of T.S. Eliot (Who is this guy, Mommy?????) or "Hakuna Matata"? . . . Rumors of a George Bush piñata are absolutely false. . . . Jon and Kate Gosselin and spawn (stars of Jon & Kate Plus 8) show up on more screens than the common housefly. All drop in on the Teutul dudes at O.C. Chopper for tonight's episode of American Chopper on TLC. Millions are rumored not to care.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.