What a holiday gift for "SideShow": Margaret Cho's wild Nov. 29 blog about the Bristol Palin sojourn on Dancing With the Stars! Bristol forced on the show by backstage Ma Sarah Palin! Ma blaming Bristol for the disaster of the 2008 election! On Saturday, Bristol fired back, with a 655-word Facebook open letter. She wanted to make her parents proud, Bristol wrote, and "politics had nothing to do with it" and, no, she had no effect on the election. But then she . . . what? . . . ended with a gay joke!? She said that if Cho knew more about conservative politics (which Cho, a lefty, doesn't wanna), she "would embrace us faster than KD Lang at an Indigo Girls concert." See, that's just ugly stereotyping. Who says k.d. likes that kind of music? Or maybe it was a slap at Cho's gayness. Cho says of herself, "I refer to myself as gay, but I am married to a man" (Al Ridenour), which about covers the sexual bases. We can't wait to hear Cho's comeback. Or k.d.'s. Or the Indigo Girls'.

And stop being mean to Bristol!

This means you, Kathy Griffin, who hosted VH1: Divas Salute the Troops, shown Sunday. Regarding Bristol's weight, Griff referred to her as "the white Precious." The audience did not respond well. Bristol told FoxNews.com's Pop Tarts column: "I hope people didn't have to pay money to hear her negativity and criticisms."

It's the double Dickens for Oprah

Oprah Winfrey wasn't going out on much of a limb when she chose her next Book Club selection: a single-volume package of Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations, two blockbusters by that buster of blocks, Charles Dickens. It just came out from Penguin. (Cross-marketing, you see.)

(Haven't read them? What is your problem? It would be a far, far better thing than you have ever done.)

Speaking of done, Oprah's show will be, next year. Will she keep endorsing books on her new self-named cable network? The shrinking books industry wants her to, because when she does, they move tomes.

Never send strangers auto-porn

Seems like a clear lesson, right? Along the lines of Never jam live electric wires into your bathtub? Well, TMZ reports that swim coach Brendon Villegas and Rachel Reilly of Big Brother have split up. Brendon apparently sent a photo of, how shall we put it, an aspect of himself to an Unnamed Stranger Lady he met online. She obliged him by merrily blasting it all over the Internet. Brendon apparently never heard of Bret Favre. (The QB has denied ever doing such a thing, which is what we would do, too.) Brendon now has made a vid apologizing to Rachel and vowing to win her back. He says Unnamed Stranger Lady threatened to blackmail him if he did not send her the intimate pic. So he did. And the result is the same as if he hadn't. Brendon: never take an I.Q. test.

A few reality TV folks make reality $$

Most reality TV folks don't get paid bupkis. But a couple make out royally. The Daily Beast lists the top 10 earners in reality TV, in estimated 2010 income from all sources (not just TV; these folks are savvy cross-platform marketeers, people). Numero uno? Kim Kardashian of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, of course, with $6 million. The rest: (2) Lauren Conrad (The Hills), $5 mil; (3) Bethenny Frankel (Bethenny Getting Married?), $4 mil; (4) Audrina Patridge (The Hills), $3.5 mil; (5) Kate Gosselin (Kate Plus 8), $3.5 mil; (6) Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino (Jersey Shore), $3 mil; (7) Khloé Kardashian, $2.5 mil; (8) Kourtney Kardashian, $2.5 mil; (9) Pauly D (Jersey Shore) $2 mil; (10) Kendra Wilkinson (Kendra), $2 mil. Where's Snooki?

From Willie Nelson to Snoop Dogg, yo

Each day the sun rises and the sun sets. Another glacier melts. The cats leave the house and come back. And Willie Nelson gets arrested for possession. Willie, 77 and very mellow, is a big advocate of boo. Dank. Weed. Pot. He's said so a lot. He also has been arrested so a lot. As he was on Nov. 26 near Sierra Blanca, Texas, when police noticed, or perhaps gagged on, a suspicious odor pouring out of Willie's tour bus. Six ounces of skunk were found; Willie said they were his ounces. He was arrested and booked into the Hudspeth County Jail, he paid a $2,500 bond, and he got back on the road again, makin' music with his friends.

It's been an active year. Six members of Willie's crew were arrested for possessing ganja and moonshine in January. We think Willie may be losing his touch. Heck, six ounces pales against the 1.5 pounds of kif found on a Willie bus in 1995. We don't know why, but TMZ asked Willie pal and fellow cannabis fannabis Snoop Dogg about the arrest, and he railed: "They better leave Willie [expletive] alone. Why are they [expletive]ing with Willie Nelson? . . . Sometimes y'all need to back up off certain people and have a certain amount of respect for your elders." Let old folks get stoned. A new perspective.

Little edible bits of predigested dish

Speaking of expletive-laced expletives, our girl Chelsea Handler did a standup routine at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J., in which she laced into Angelina Jolie. Just called her all sorts of Germanic things. Like "homebreaker." Chelsea is a bosom pal of Jennifer Aniston and spent the Turkey Day break with Jen in Los Cabos, Mexico. . . . How about Oprah, Sir Paul McCartney, and Barack Obama all on the same stage Sunday at the Kennedy Center Honors? Others bedecked were Merle Haggard, Bill T. Jones, and Jerry Herman. . . . In cruelty news, Nadya Suleyman, known as OctoMom because of her multiple birthings, owes $450K on her house. If it's not paid Dec. 31, she may land on the street. Pornmakers Vivid are dangling $500K to make a naughty flick for them. . . . Amber Heard, soon to be seen in Drive Angry 3-D with the oft-losing-it-on-

screen Nicolas Cage, showed up Dec. 3 at the GLAAD 25th anniversary gala with Tasya van Ree to make their pairdom official. She told AfterEllen.com: "I think when I became aware of my role in the media, I had to ask myself an important question: 'Am I part of the problem?' . . . Injustice can never be stood for. It always must be fought against, and I just was sick of it being a problem." The two have been together since 2008. Also on hand: Chaz Bono, Ed Begley Jr., and Jean Smart. Names that got booed: Anita Bryant, Laura Schlessinger, Sen. John McCain, and Mel Gibson.

This article contains information from Inquirer wire services and websites. Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.