"I want what Miley's smoking!" So chant the nation's youth, gripped by a new, intoxicating fever spread by that - very cute - corrupter of the young,

Miley Cyrus

.

It's called salvia. It's a drug. And Miley totally digs it.

In a video that went viral late last week, the 18-year-old Hannah Montana alum is shown smoking a bong at a party, whereupon she's seized by a storm of cackling, giggling, grimacing, and grinning.

TMZ says Miley fans have been rushing to their local head shops following reports that the substance she was smoking was not pot but the psychoactive plant salvia divinorum, which is legal in 35 states. (That includes New Jersey and Pennsylvania, but attempts continue here and in other states to ban it.)

Miley's pop, Billy Ray Cyrus, wrote on Twitter unhappily: "I had no idea. Just saw this stuff for the first time myself," he says of the video. "I'm so sad. There is much beyond my control right now."

Next time, how about a pony?

To the best of our knowledge,

Nicole Richie

and

Joel Madden

remain married - more than 48 hours after their Saturday nuptials.

Meanwhile, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) notes that Have Trunk Will Travel, the company that provided wedding entertainer Tai the Elephant, "trains its elephants with bullhooks and electric shock prods." PETA asks Nicole not to use exotic animals as party treats in the future.

All they need is space

"It's nothing dramatic," an anon source tells E! about a most awful, tragic event:

Zac Efron

and

Vanessa Hudgens

, whose combined cutie-pie-ness would shame Bambi, have broken up.

All you need is . . . pancakes

They may have glanced into each other's eyes, for a sec, while munching on pancakes at IHOP on Walnut Street last week, but teenlings

Justin Bieber

and

Selena Gomez

are, like, totally not dating.

Selena, 18, insists she and the 16-year-old Canadian singer just happened to happen upon each other in Center City before their guest appearances at the Q102 Jingle Ball on Wednesday night.

"It was pancakes. Who doesn't like pancakes?" she tells MTV News. "We were both performing in the same place so we went and had pancakes together. That's all it is. All innocent."

Love is a (luxurious) battlefield

London's Daily Mail says

Simon Cowell

, 51, is whisking his Afghani fiancee

Mezhgan Hussainy

, 37, to "Sandy Lane in Barbados - the exclusive hotel resort where he has spent the past five Christmases."

But Cowell is also being pursued by two other ardent lovers: Coca-Cola and Pepsi.

EntNews outlet Deadline.com says the soft-drink giants are engaged in a deadly $50-$100-mil bidding war to win sponsoring rights on Cowell's X-Factor.

This black swan walks vegan

Guess even

Natalie Portman

, 29, isn't immune from making tree-hugging statements more self-indulgent than noble.

Women's Wear Daily says the Black Swan starlet, who adores all animals great and small, accepted a job shilling for Miss Cherie Dior fragrance only because the company cares about good causes.

They care sooo much, they've created a line of vegan shoes (footwear sans leather) for the Israeli-born beauty. "They remade all my shoes so I can wear Dior shoes without taking [animals'] lives," says Nat.

Narcissism City: Movie awards

The Los Angeles Film Critics Association on Sunday named the

Aaron Sorkin

-

David Fincher

Facebook soap

The Social Network

as its best pic of the year.

Colin Firth won best actor for costume drama The King's Speech while Kim Hye-ja won best actress for South Korean auteur Joon-ho Bong's riveting crime drama Mother.

For their part, the Broadcast Film Critics Association lavished serious lust on director Darren Aronofsky's ballet flick Black Swan, giving it a record 12 nominations for the 16th annual Critics' Choice Movie Awards, including best pic, best director, best actress for Natalie Portman (see above!), and best supporting actress for Mila Kunis. (The gals bravely shared meaningful sexual moments on screen, you see.)

True Grit and The King's Speech got 11 nods each; Inception was next with 10 nods, while The Social Network got nine. Awards will be doled out Jan. 14 on VH1.

The august American Film Institute on Sunday named its annual list of the Top Ten American films, which includes (in no particular order), Inception, Toy Story 3, The Social Network, Ben Affleck's Beantown thriller The Town, and western True Grit.

The Big O conquers Oz

Oprah Winfrey

has hit Australia with style, taking a wee boating trip with

Russell Crowe

and his wife,

Danielle Spencer

, around Sydney Harbour on Monday, says USA Today. Tuesday, she's scheduled to tape two shows with guests Crowe,

Hugh Jackman

,

Nicole Kidman

,

Bon Jovi

, and

Jay-Z

.

Speaking of O, the gabfest queen has been announced as one of the presenters at the Oscars on Feb. 27. She joins Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges, Sandra Bullock, and Marisa Tomei.

Today in Gwyneth Paltrow's life

Now that she's found her voice as a country warbler, there's no stopping Gwyneth Paltrow. The Oscar-winner tells Access Hollywood she'll make a second guest appearance as substitute teacher Holly Holiday on Fox's TV musical Glee.

Gwyn may be comfortable singing, but she tells Extra she found it near impossible to play an alcoholic singer in Country Strong. Seems Gwyn can't imagine being an addict. So she turned to an expert, recovering addict Robert Downey Jr.: "He was amazing," she says. "He . . . kind of helped me understand addiction."

The injury report

Dancing With the Stars

champ

Jennifer Grey

, 50, is feeling well after docs removed "a huge fragment" from her back, says People.com. Grey suffered from a ruptured disc. "I'm still recovering at home. I have to rest a bit more, but I feel great - completely pain free," she tells People.

Meanwhile, Justin Timberlake is back shooting his new flick Now, which had been put on hold this month when the singer-actor injured his calf.

I sing . . . and act . . . and sing

Do you snicker at the idea of Timberlake's recent thespian pursuits? Don't. "I make no bones about the fact that I have always wanted to work in the forum of film," Justin says. "I take this seriously."

This article contains information from Inquirer wire services and websites. Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.