FOR MOST couples, regardless of the their stations in life, a marriage is a profoundly life-changing event and, arguably, the most important commitment two people can make to one another.
But for The Most Important Couple in the World, it appears marriage is just another marketing trick to ensure the world's attention for another day or two.
Although their announced big day is May 24 (in Paris, no less), Kanye West and Kim Kardashian might have already tied the knot. Or, they might not have.
Those to whom this subject is inexplicably important are agog over the news the two immortals were possibly hitched in the past week or so.
First, TMZ reported last week that the glittering couple - forever etched in our collective consciousness as "Kimye" (which actually makes them sound like a special on a Korean menu) - had obtained something called a "confidential wedding license" and planned to actually have the ceremony before their big Parisian bacchanal.
Not to be outdone, Life & Style magazine noted Sunday that the ever-popular anonymous source insisted "Kim and Kanye are now married on paper. They got their license in California over the past few days."
Of course, Life & Style isn't the only gossip-mongering one-stop that has an unnamed informant. Whoever is serving that role these days for People contradicted anonymous source No. 1 by denying that the lovebirds had made it legal.
So far, the subjects of the mystery are keeping mum (which, in itself, should be praised as a Herculean task on the part of these two self-serving loudmouths).
Tattle is not offering any guesses as to the couple's marital status. By the time you read this, the news could have been confirmed. Or maybe not. Either way, The Most Important Couple in the World got us again.
Which is why they're them and we're us.
The hits keep coming for "X-Men" director Bryan Singer. According to the Daily Beast, yet another lawsuit has been filed charging him with sexually assaulting a teenage boy.
Singer, 48, and Broadway producer Gary Goddard ("Hair," "Jekyll & Hyde"), 59, were named in a suit filed Saturday in L.A. (where, we guess, the courts are open). The paperwork alleges that the men had carnal knowledge of the plaintiff - an unidentified resident of England - when he was a teenager. According to the suit, Goddard initiated the relationship via social media when the plaintiff was 14, promising the boy he would help further his acting career.
Actual sex, it is charged, followed a year or two later (because this is show business, drugs were allegedly involved as well).
Singer supposedly entered the picture in 2006, when Goddard introduced the then-teenager to his pal at a "Superman Returns" premiere after-party in London.
The plaintiff - identified in the suit as "John Doe No. 117" - claims he refused the men's offer of a quaalude (who knew anyone still had quaaludes in 2006?) before the men allegedly involved him in a threesome.
* In what could be the legal battle of the 21st century, the lads of One Direction may take ripnroll.com to court for calling its new line of condoms "One Erection." Dailystar.uk.co reports that while the band members (pardon the pun) think it's all a big giggle, the suits who maintain their careers may not be so willing to forgive and forget.
* We're not sure how world markets will react, but rock-star-TV-competition-coach-acne-salve shill Adam Levine has dyed his hair blond.
* Ariel Winter, who plays Alex on "Modern Family," will remain under the guardianship of her adult sister. That was determined yesterday after the siblings reached an agreement with their mom (who, we can assume, will probably not be spending Mother's Day with her girls).
- Daily News wire services
contributed to this report.
On Twitter: @chuckdarrow