IT USED TO be, in Celebville, that just being a cute baby with rich and beautiful parents and a crib in Malibu was enough. But no longer. Now, you must possess power, and wield it. Who cares if you're too young to speak, or chew? Who cares if you soil your diaper - that's what you have people for.
Forbes magazine has just named Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, the spawn of gorgeous yet oddly freakish Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, as The Most Influential Celebrity Infant. What that means, what it gets Shiloh, isn't made quite clear. What it seems to come from is an exhaustive bit of research (OK - they made it up . . . drinks were probably involved) in which Forbes determined that more press attention was heaped on Shiloh in the past year than any other star's kid under the age of 5.
Crawlers-up in the Forbes list are: Suri Cruise, Tom and Katie's surprise gift to Scientology; Zahara Jolie-Pitt, Shiloh's adoptive sibling; Sean Preston Federline, Britney's kid (who wishes he was Shiloh's adoptive sibling); Pax Jolie-Pitt, another one (hey, shouldn't there be some sort of a curve when Jolie's involved?); Sam Alexis Woods, Tiger's kid; David Banda, son of Madonna and Guy Ritchie; Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead, Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, who would have been our pick; and, tied, Cruz and Romeo Beckham, David and Posh's offspring.
We'll check back in a few years and let you know which rehab they're in.
OTHER LISTS OF A-LISTERS: Us Weekly barely had to arc a synapse to come up with its Worst-Dressed Celeb of the Year. Britney Spears, natch. (Don't you think that when mags decide on any "worst" list, it's "OK, Britney - now, who are the nine others?")
And in a really good, nasty year-ender, the suddenly very bitchy Forbes (didn't
it use to be a business magazine? Watch out, Wall Street Journal) named Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe as Tinseltown's most overpaid stars, for earning a lot more than their box-office draws would merit.
And when it comes to signing names for fans, some stars are nice, some are jerks. Autograph magazine's annual list of the "10 Best and 10 Worst Hollywood Signers" names Johnny Depp as the most gracious celeb (third year in a row), followed by Matt Damon, George Clooney and Jack Nicholson. The worst? Surprisingly, it's Will Ferrell, with Tobey Maguire, Joaquin Phoenix and William Shatner close behind.
YOU MEAN SHE WASN'T OUT? Jodie Foster has officially announced she's gay. Don't all gasp at once. Her partner? Film producer Cydney Bernard, whom she met in 1993. Two kids, but not influential. *