Quote of the week

Astros first baseman Lance Berkman, on why he wasn't disappointed by the announcement that Roger Clemens signed with the Yankees instead of returning to Houston: "With this Rocket situation, there are two kinds of people: People that are not surprised, and morons. Where else was he going to go?"

Plague of the week

Cicadas, locustlike insects that feed on the roots of trees, are about to invade Chicago. The cicadas come out once every 17 years, but groundskeepers at Wrigley Field say they expect minimal damage to the fabled ivy on the outfield walls.

Practical joke of the week

When the Mariners' team bus got back to the team hotel in New York, third baseman Adrian Beltre was asleep. So his teammates tiptoed past him and the driver, who had no idea he still had a passenger, headed back to the garage in Queens.

Beltre woke up only about a block away, but was still plenty steamed. "I thought I heard some whispers or something and I just ignored it," he told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. "Then later I opened my eyes and I was like, 'Hey, bus driver! Stop!' "

Tech note of the week

The Athletics have announced that fans will be able to download tickets to their cell phones beginning today. The bar code will be delivered to the phone and scanned at the gate.

- Paul Hagen