Attention, mysterious Phillies owners

For sale: First-place major-league baseball team. According to the Associated Press, Tribune Company CEO Sam Zell said yesterday that the company is forging on with its plans to sell the Chicago Cubs and Wrigley Field. Zell said that bidders should get the financial books within the week, and that preliminary bids will be due next month. The Tribune may accept a bid to sell Wrigley itself to an Illinois state agency, but Zell prefers a package deal. According to the Zellionaire, there's never been a better time to market the team and the ballpark with the Cubs in first place and driving record attendance. Of course, one could counter with the argument that there's never been a better time to hold onto the franchise. Could you imagine unloading the Cubbies right after they won a World Series for the first time in 100 years?

Death becomes her

A story out of Grand Prairie, Texas, tugs on the heartstrings. And if it weren't for a minor-league baseball promotion, it might have never happened. Elaine Fulps of Arlington, Texas, won a $10,000 paid funeral at Tuesday night's Grand Prairie AirHogs game, according to the Associated Press. The 60-year-old Fulps said she didn't have plans to cash in the prize anytime soon, even though she has "almost croaked many times." Fulps showed up for the game in a neck brace, an aftereffect from the latest of 20 surgeries she has undergone for various medical problems. "God still has me around for a reason," she said. "To win a funeral."

Zinger!

Fulps had more. "I'm going to pick a spot under a tree out of the Texas heat," she told the Dallas Morning News. "And let's hope it's a pet-free cemetery. I don't want to get watered on." Can we get Fulps to write High & Inside?

Little-known AirHogs fact: The independent team is managed by former Phillies outfielder Pete Incaviglia.

Where the Wild Thing is

How about that Mitch Williams on Comcast SportsNet's

Phillies Postgame Live?

Mitchy-poo serves it up straight and never shies away from criticizing a player when he needs to be slammed. If only someone showed him

Broadcast News

for the pointer on proper desk posture ("Sit on your jacket."). Nevertheless, Williams looks in good shape. As if he could still lace 'em up, head out to the mound, and serve up an 85-m.p.h. fastball that loses the World Series and crushes the hopes and dreams of an entire city.

Drafty, isn't it?

The first day of baseball's amateur draft was held yesterday. One-hundred and sixty-six of the finest young players you won't hear about for four years were selected in the first five rounds.

Notable

Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp was suspended for four games, and Colorado catcher Yorvit Torrealba was penalized three games yesterday following their tussle earlier this week. Both players also were fined undisclosed amounts. Both plan to appeal.

Contact staff writer Jeff McLane at 215-854-4745 or jmclane@phillynews.com.