GIVEN THE TEAMS, the town and the times in which we live as Philadelphia sports fans, it seems a good place to measure exactly how bitter we all are. Just pick the answer that best reflects your opinion. With that, 15 questions to determine your Bitterness Quotient (BQ).

Ryan Howard is:

a) A player in the midst of making history.

b) A great force, even with the strikeouts.

c) The worst first baseman you've ever seen.

d) Destined to flame out and fail.

Rafael Nadal's five-set victory over Roger Federer in the Wimbledon men's final was:

a) Sport at its finest.

b) Diminished by the rain delays.

c) In desperate need of an American.

d) A freakin' tennis match.

Andy Reid is:

a) The best coach in Eagles modern history.

b) Dull by design, stubborn beyond reason.

c) A lousy general manager.

d) Way past his sell-by date and should be fired.

Andre Iguodala is:

a) Worth an enormous new contract.

b) A jump shot short of greatness.

c) A second banana on a good team.

d) A third banana on a great team.

Phillies ownership is:

a) Spending at the level of its income.

b) Invisible.

c) Cheap.

d) Laughing at you.

Jeffrey Lurie and Joe Banner are:

a) Doing everything they can to win.

b) Sitting on a billion, thanks to you.

c) Hiding behind/too tolerant of Reid.

d) Laughing at you.

Ed Snider is:

a) Unquestionable in his desire to win.

b) Too diversified in his business interests.

c) Living in the past.

d) Laughing at you.

The Tour de France is:

a) Despite everything, still the hardest event in sports.

b) A pleasant enough hangover companion.

c) Dirty, discredited, done.

d) A freakin' bike race.

Golf without Tiger Woods is:

a) Still a great display of skill.

b) Lacking.

c) Unwatchable.

d) Really, really unwatchable.

The Beijing Olympics will be:

a) The greatest, purest example of sport.

b) Flawed but still compelling.

c) Corrupt filth wrapped in the flag.

d) An irritant during Eagles training camp.

Donovan McNabb is:

a) The greatest quarterback in modern Eagles history.

b) A good man and good soldier.

c) Inaccurate and inadequate.

d) The guy who threw up at the Super Bowl.

The Phillies' current level of performance is:

a) Good - first place is first place.

b) Feast, famine, flawed.

c) Barely acceptable in a lousy division.

d) A mirage.

A Phillies division title will be:

a) Another sign of a franchise hitting its stride.

b) Reason to celebrate.

c) The barely acceptable minimum.

d) Prelude to a disaster.

An Eagles wild-card playoff berth will represent:

a) Another chance to win a title.

b) A disappointment.

c) McNabb's swan song.

d) Reid's swan song.

Twenty-five years without a championship is:

a) A conversation piece, nothing more.

b) A badge of honor for long-suffering fans.

c) A testament to lousy ownership.

d) A freakin' disgrace.

That's it. The scoring is easy enough - one point for each A, two for each B, three for each C, four for each D.

If you scored from 15-22, you are unscarred, unburdened, always looking on the bright side of life. You also are probably new to the region.

If you scored from 23-37, you are a wide-eyed realist. You have seen all of the disappointment, seen it and lived it but, at the same time, refused to become consumed by it.

If you scored from 38-53, you are prone to cynicism, a bit beaten down, influenced by the media. You have booed Pat Burrell, at least considered throwing a snowball at the Vet, and entertained the possibility that the curse of Billy Penn might be real.

If you scored from 54-60, well, you simultaneously live the Philadelphia stereotype and complain that people stereotype you. You will celebrate the next Philadelphia championship for about a week before starting to complain. You are beyond hope. *

Send e-mail to hofmanr@phillynews.com. For recent columns, go to http://go.philly.com/hofmann.