Being a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader isn't just about calendar shoots in exotic locales and skimpy outfits. It's not just about supporting a bunch of soulless mercenaries and shameless underachievers, either. Not anymore.
These days, a prospective Cowboys cheerleader still has to do all that, but she must also demonstrate a rudimentary understanding of Middle East geography and counting.
According to the Dallas Morning News, the 'Boys make their Girls take a test before they become cheerleaders. Questions on the quiz range from "name one country that borders Iraq" to "how many stars are on the Cowboys cheerleading uniform?" You can check out the eight-question sample test here: http://tinyurl.com/cowboysquiz.
After a little digging of our own, Page 2 has learned that the Eagles also make their cheerleaders take a quiz. An abridged version of the super-top-secret test follows.
1. When representing Philadelphia and the Eagles, the correct way to pronounce "water" is:
2. On the latest depth chart, the Eagles list Sheldon Brown as a:
D. Left Out.
3. When the Eagles run the ball near the goal line in a short-yardage situation, this is called:
A. Smashmouth football.
B. Sound red zone strategy.
C. Proper play-calling.
D. They're allowed to do that?
4. If Donovan McNabb throws an interception against the Cowboys, you should:
A. Smile and wave your pompoms.
B. Shake your head in disgust.
C. Stand quietly.
D. Take cover and do the earmuffs thing from Old School.
5. An NFL play clock is:
A. 15 seconds.
B. 25 seconds.
C. 40 seconds.
D. Not long enough for Andy Reid.
6. Name one state that borders New Jersey
B. New York.
D. New Jersey is a state? I thought it was a suburb of Philly.
7. The best Eagles draft pick of the last five years is:
A. DeSean Jackson.
B. Jeremy Maclin.
C. Shady McCoy.
D. Anyone but Reggie Brown.
8. The Eagles often lose when:
A. Donovan McNabb has a bad game.
B. They fail to run the ball effectively.
C. They commit too many turnovers.
D. Joe Banner opens his mouth.
9. If the Eagles win the Super Bowl, Jeffrey Lurie will:
A. Rejoice and cry tears of joy.
B. Wave to the fans as he rides down Broad Street during the parade.
C. Give Andy Reid a contract extension.
D. Still not pay the city that $8 million.
10. If Bob Ford, Phil Sheridan and John Gonzalez ask you to take a picture with them, you should:
A. Smile and say "of course."
B. Remind them that "professional journalists" aren't supposed to do that.
C. Politely decline.
D. Reach for your Mace.
Last week, Dave Spadaro said the Eagles' unofficial depth chart doesn't mean anything. (If that's the case, why bother putting it together and posting it to the team Web site in the first place? Do they have that much time on their hands over there?) Just for fun, if Page 2 was putting together an unofficial depth chart for the receivers, the top five would be (in no particular order): DeSean Jackson, Kevin Curtis, Jeremy Maclin, Jason Avant, and Hank Baskett. Which makes me wonder: What's the chance that Reggie Brown doesn't make the team this year? . . . Got an interesting e-mail from a reader who was convinced that the 76ers only interviewed Jay Wright because they wanted to curry favor with the fans and also get some positive media attention. Sounds tinfoil-hat crazy, right? Because that would basically make the Wright interview a PR stunt, and the Sixers don't do those. . . . Forgot to ask: What did you think of the Indy 500? Yeah, I didn't watch it, either. . . . Finally saw Notorious over the weekend. If you're a Biggie fan, it's a must-see. Even if you never liked Big Poppa, it's worth watching for Naturi Naughton, who plays Lil Kim. . . . I don't understand why people busted the chops of Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez for his GQ photo shoot. Recently, the New York Daily News ran a really earnest column telling him to focus on football. And his teammates made fun of him for appearing in shots that made him look like Mitch Buchannon from Baywatch. When did hanging out with a hot model during the off-season become a bad idea?