While hoping the Phillies can find a suitable replacement for Brett Myers, it's time to look inside the mailbag...

How can Manny Ramirez be suspended for 50 games and still be ahead of Raaaaaaaul Ibanez by 50,000 votes in the all-star voting? I know a name carries a player in voting, but this system is really ridiculous. I don't care if the Phillies make the All-Star Game. I just worry of the integrity of the game itself. 

- Mike

Mike,

You're absolutely right. It's crazy that Manny isn't even playing and yet he's way ahead of Ibanez - a guy who's having arguably the best season of anyone in the National League right now.

I wouldn't worry about the game, though. Whatever "integrity" MLB had vanished when it shipped a bunch of fools and liars to D.C. to talk about steroids with some other fools and liars.

These days, baseball focuses less on integrity than it does on the ballpark experience. MLB is about summer evenings at the park and Dollar Dog Nights and beach blanket giveaways. Just go with it.

- Gonzo

What happened? Are you not doing Talkin' anymore? That would be a damn shame if you're not. It let the readers into your lives outside of your columns. How else would I know to call Bob Ford Buttons or Bobo?

- Robert

Robert,

The bosses benched us for a week for being naughty. We're back now. Well, two of us are. Phil Sheridan has decided to move on and start a solo, post-Talkin' career. (He's sort of the SportsWit' version of Ozzy Osbourne.) We went out and got a new lead singer - Ashley Fox. Great name, and she croons off-key on command. We'll be making terrible music together in no time.

Thanks for your support of Page 2. And I'm glad you mentioned Ford. I'm about to start selling T-shirts with pictures of Ford and Red Buttons side-by-side. They're $10 each or three for $20. Tell your friends. (Offer valid while supplies last.)

- Gonzo

I am a 54-year-old male barely hanging on to my coolness. Or so I thought. Yesterday you mentioned "Notorious." I thought you were talking about the Hitchcock movie. Oh, well. Thanks for breaking it to me gently. I will just fade off to the sunset. 

- Art

Art,

Love Alfred. The man made some amazing films.

It's not too late for you to learn about Biggie Smalls. Check out Notorious. It's a good flick, and it will acquaint you with Big Poppa's lyrical mastery. Plus, Naturi Naughton takes off her top. A lot. (Make sure you take your heart medication.)

- Gonzo

The piece on athletes becoming broadcasters was missing a key player: Jon Runyan. Did you forget the body of work Runyan has amassed? He has lots of time on Comcast SportsNet and five years cohosting his own radio shows. 

- Craig

Craig,

Runyan is a big boy, and I'm reluctant to say anything negative about him. (I only look stupid.) So, yeah . . . Did you hear Erin Andrews wants to be on Dancing With the Stars? I can honestly say I've never watched the show, but that would make me tune in.

- Gonzo

Greg Dobbs wasn't even considered in the top 10 as a local sports figure who could transition into a broadcast career? Have you heard this guy handle an interview? He's well-spoken, smooth, engaging, and makes a great appearance.

Plus he doesn't say "ya know" or "like I said" after every third sentence.

- Jim

Jim,

It's tough to become a starter. Maybe he can pinch-hit for Vai Sikahema one day and we'll see how it goes from there. You have to earn your job in the MBL - Media Big Leagues.

- Gonzo

I'm reading your columns every day here in Switzerland. We have the same sense of humor, I guess.

I'm a (pretty young) sportswriter here myself. I cover soccer and hockey. But first of all I'm a huge Philly fan. I love everybody but the Sixers. But who cares about them anyway?

- Nick

Nick,

Where to begin? I'm thrilled to know we have readers in Switzerland. How's the delivery there? You must get the same edition as the folks out in Phoenixville. And I'm sorry to hear that you have the same sense of humor as me. It's an unfortunate, incurable condition.

My favorite part about your e-mail is that you're from Switzerland and love all the Philly teams - except the Sixers. Tough time to be Ed Stefanski.

When the Swiss start ragging on you, you're in trouble.

- Gonzo

"It's God's meat." That's the most accurate description of scrapple I've ever heard. Beautiful.

Down in North/South Carolina, they call scrapple "liver mush." A highly inelegant term for God's meat, don't you think?

- Jack

Jack,

Every time someone calls it "liver mush," Jesus weeps.

- Gonzo

Contact columnist John Gonzalez at 215-854-2813

or gonzalez@phillynews.com.