It's time again for Morning Bytes' fourth annual sports-themed Christmas carols. Here are five to hum on your way to work, or perhaps the unemployment office:

Hark! The Harried Wife Can Swing

(To the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing")

Hark! The harried wife can swing

Gory is sport's onetime king.

Tiger slept with girls gone wild

Elin won't be reconciled.

Joyful all his nights with strippers

Till she clubbed him with his chipper.

Soon she'll seek a half-a-billion

He'll be one more broke civilian.

Hark! The harried wife can swing

Gory is sport's onetime king.

B-Dawk Is Coming to Town

(To the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")

Get better, wideouts

Or you're gonna die.

Get better, wideouts

Or you'll be mince pie.

B-Dawk is coming to town.

He's making a list

And Lurie's on top.

Wonder what other heads he will lop?

B-Dawk is coming to town.

He'll hit you when you're dogging.

He won't bite on your fake.

Don't care if you are good or bad.

Your tibia he'll break.

O! Get better, wideouts

Or you're gonna die.

Get better, wideouts

Or you'll be mince pie.

B-Dawk is coming to town.

The Eagles Fans' Song

(To the tune of "The Christmas Song")

Drunk nuts toasting by a trash-can fire.

Jack Daniel's handy in the flask

Yelling foul chants as they strive to get higher

The drunks love warming to the task

Everybody knows these turkeys and their friends get fried.

Then they make your game day glum.

Tiny tots with their ears open wide

Will wish to God they'd never come.

They'll learn some words they've never heard.

And wonder how an "Eagles" chant can sound so slurred.

And every mother's child is gonna see

Some stupid, green-clad oaf who's puking in Lot C.

And so I'm offering this simple plea

To you drunks who populate the Linc.

Although it's been said many more times than three

Stay at home if you're coming to drink.

O Clifford Lee

(To the tune of

"O Christmas Tree")

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

Can't Ruben be dissuaded?

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

We can't believe you're traded.

You were so good in summer's heat.

Your Philly stay was short and sweet.

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

Can't Ruben be dissuaded?

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

How lovely was your Series.

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

Now all we've got are theories.

Will Roy be such a huge upgrade

That three great prospects we did trade?

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

How lovely was your Series.

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

Your salary was quite hefty.

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

And we had too many lefties.

But now you're in Seattle.

Let's hope that Roy don't rattle

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

Your salary was quite hefty.

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

Again you've changed your uni.

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

This deal just seems so loony.

To go and move one proven ace

And stick another in his place.

O Clifford Lee!

O Clifford Lee!

Again you've changed your uni.

Got Ourselves a Very Little Sixer

(To the tune of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas")

Got ourselves a very little Sixer

'Cause our crowds were light.

Hope it means

Our troubles will be out of sight.

Got ourselves a very little Sixer

Though he's past his prime.

From now on

A.I. vows he will be on time

Here we are as in olden days,

Though 3 can't play like before.

Faithful fans who grew tired of us

Are inspired by us once more.

Through the year

He'll sell a few more tickets

But the day ain't nigh

When we'll hang a banner in the arena sky.

So why'd we get a very little Sixer now?

Contact staff writer Frank Fitzpatrick at 215-854-5068 or ffitzpatrick@phillynews.com.