Q: I have a real dilemma. I've been dating this woman for about six weeks. We're in our 20s and we both understand that it's just a fling, nothing serious and we have no prohibition on dating others. A couple weeks ago she introduced me to a woman she works with. The attraction was instantaneous, for both of us. We've spoken on the phone a few times and we really want to get together. Should I tell the woman I'm dating? Should I just forget about this new girl even though my relationship isn't serious? Or should we get together on the down low?
Steve: Well, I'll defer to an expert on this matter, Mae West, who once said, "Between two evils, I always choose the one I never tried before." But you do need to be honest with the woman you're dating now. Tell her you plan to go out with her co-worker. And be glad you don't work with them.
Mia: I hope you're not asking us if you should cheat with your girlfriend's co-worker. Because the answer to that is no. But if you want to ask this woman out, then there's nothing stopping you. Just be a man about it.
Don't start lying and trying to cover up your relationship with this new woman. Tell the woman you're seeing what you're going to do so she's not blindsided. She's not going to like it. No one wants to be outdone by the girl in the next cubicle. But that's not your problem, now is it?
Q: Actress Heather Graham caused quite a stir recently when she said she enjoyed tantric sex. I recall Sting saying something years ago about it lasting eight hours. Is this some Hollywood thing? What's it all about?
Mia: Tantric sexual practices are taken from ancient spiritual teachings that have little to do with sex as we think of it. Although, one of the most intriguing aspects I find is that the focus isn't on getting to the big O but on enjoying the overall experience. If you're interested, I suggest you stop by a book shop or Google "tantric sex." Loads has been written on the subject; but be careful, a lot of it is pretty bogus.