DEAR ABBY: I recently found out my daughter has been having an affair with her sister's husband. This will tear our family apart. It will also have a huge impact on my grandchildren.
I have not yet told my wife, who will be devastated, but I'm having trouble carrying this burden alone. I feel they should be held accountable. Should I look the other way, or make them responsible for their actions, knowing the hell it will create?
- Stressing in the USA
DEAR STRESSING: What an unfortunate mess. Please do not assume that you are responsible for any damage that may result from this affair. Because you know about it, it's logical to assume that it's only a matter of time until others find out what has been going on.
That's why you should talk to your daughter. Tell her you know about the affair and will now have to inform her sister, who deserves to know that her marriage is in serious trouble and why. If you do, it may save the marriage.
DEAR ABBY: In the past few months I have gone to different parties for friends. One thing bothers me about these get-togethers. Toward the middle of the event, I often get approached by the host who will ask me to assist with a certain task, such as setting up the table, clearing or even doing the dishes. No one else is ever asked to help.
I was raised in a family that emphasized good manners and to always be willing to help a friend. But in these situations I feel uncomfortable because I don't want to refuse my host and I was invited as a "guest."
Isn't it rude for a host to ask a guest to help clean? If so, what would be the appropriate response?
- Infringed Upon in Connecticut