Q: This cutie I see around town at parties and stuff is always flirting with me. But that was before we hooked up one night - went back to my place and tore each other's clothes off. Since he'd been drinking, things didn't get very far. Now he completely avoids me, which makes me feel bad. We used to have so much fun. I think he's embarrassed by his performance. But that's no big deal. Now that the weather is nice, I'll be seeing him around a lot more. How do I get back to the way things were before?
Mia: You're dealing with a flirt buddy. Flirt buddies compliment you and shower you with so much attention you start feeling like Beyonce.
But they aren't necessarily boyfriend material. They might be gay, in a relationship, players or otherwise unavailable.
Everything will be fine between the two of you until someone tries to take it to the next level. That's when things will get weird or awkward.
Once that happens, it's hard to heat things back up. But you can do it. Just be fun and light when you bump into him. Toss your hair around and flirt. Eventually, he'll loosen up again.
Steve: Go back to your place after two drinks instead of six.
Q: I recently started estate planning but couldn't decide what to do with everything I've accumulated. Who do I leave it to? I have no kids or close relations. I never thought I'd be 48 and still single. I've tried everything. I have a good job, a nice home and keep myself looking good. I feel so lonely. Both my parents are dead, and I don't have siblings. I'm adopted but have a strained relationship with my birth mother. I'm looking at turning old alone. The thought makes me feel desperate. I rattle around this big house feeling sorry for myself. I know I should book a nice vacation, but I'm tired of always having to go by myself.
Mia: Volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters or other groups to expand your social circle. If you don't have a church, join one. Or a women's group. Build friendships to take the place of family.
There are lots of other people in your situation. You just have to find them and cultivate relationships with them. Also, you might want to find a therapist to help you when things feel bleak. Good luck.
Steve: Friends are often more valuable to your happiness than romantic partners. Put yourself in situations where you will meet people of similar interests.