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Jensen: Jay Wright learns to say 'No'

Had Jay Wright spoken yet? The woman behind a desk in the lobby of Temple's Liacouras Center said they couldn't say "for security reasons." The real reason they don't give out the order of speakers at a Get Motivated! business seminar? Probably

Had Jay Wright spoken yet? The woman behind a desk in the lobby of Temple's Liacouras Center said they couldn't say "for security reasons." The real reason they don't give out the order of speakers at a Get Motivated! business seminar? Probably they want the whole crowd there for the whole day. It's easier to get motivated together that way, even with a lineup featuring World's No. 1 Motivational Speaker Les Brown and Daymond John from

Shark Tank

and America's No.1 Wealth Building Coach Bob Harrison.

The coach of the national champion Villanova Wildcats took the stage soon after bag lunches had been distributed. After getting the best of Bill Self and Roy Williams in the NCAA tournament, Wright didn't seem nervous in different company.

"So many of us fight so hard to get what we want," Wright told the room, "to be successful individually, when really we believe your best chance of having your best you, your best chance of having the most success, is when you commit yourself to a team, and to a group of people, to a process, and then let the results be what they may be."

This wasn't a crowd of basketball junkies. Wright didn't pull out any X and O talk, no breakdown of the final play down in Houston. There were no rhetorical gimmicks, no use of the word bang.

"The mission," Wright said that September day, "is to remain humble but hungry."

Wright is the first to see the irony in this whole enterprise, being sought after, paid to deliver such a message.

Sure, stay humble.

"I told our team," Wright said last week after a practice on campus, "I talked about hungry and humble and now we're doing a book."

The key, Wright said, as Villanova opens Friday at the Pavilion against Lafayette, is to try to be honest about everything.

"I've also learned that a lot of it is, it's bringing in the national championship coach," Wright said of appearances. "It's not bringing in Jay Wright."

He took that motivational gig, he said, because it was in Philadelphia. The company had pursued him pretty relentlessly.

"I didn't know it was at Temple," Wright said. "I was like, 'Jeez.' "

He gives variations of this speech, with references to past stars and a mention of how they've sometimes practiced "to create havoc" with referees but tells the officials to make bad calls against his starters to see how they respond.

"I didn't do it a lot," Wright said of the speeches. "I had an opportunity to do it a lot. . . . That's something I did talk to coaches about. They said, 'You're going to have an opportunity for one to do a lot of speaking engagements. And it can be very lucrative. But after that one year, the story's over.' "

He said no to a whole lot more than he agreed to do, Wright said. "I did like two of those for big companies, big events. The rest I did for Villanova people, for Villanova alums that run companies."

Wright's time was always parceled basically to the minute before his own life changed. So let's figure he's just as busy, just saying no to more things.

"Exactly," Wright said, but he added, "The one part no one explained to me, how many events that you can't say no to."

For instance, Wright said, "A gentleman gives multimillion dollars to Villanova and he's been great to your program and more important has been great to the university. He asks you to speak to his company at their yearly meeting. You want to do it. In the past, that guy might not ask you. He can get Bill Clinton. But when you win the national championship . . ."

Wright ticked off the national coach of the year awards, one in New York, one in Atlanta, one in Chicago for the national championship coach. And Villanova has events for donors. "White House, State Capitol, Philadelphia City Hall, Philadelphia Sports Hall of Fame, ESPYs, Wanamaker Award."

Saying no would not look great - Jay isn't coming.

"Bigger than Jay Wright, it would be Villanova," Wright said. "That thing in Chicago, it would be Villanova doesn't respect college basketball. Every other coach came."

There's more things, Wright said. "Some I'm forgetting. . . . I don't want to exaggerate this - there are 25 to 30 days added to your schedule that you can't say no to. Everyone says, you've got to learn to say no. I do. I'm saying no a thousand times. But there's 25 to 30 days, you just can't."

Of his message, "It's about our culture, how we try to live," Wright said. "And we've been trying for a long time. So it didn't end in a national championship all the other times, but it did end with a respect we have for each other."

At Temple, Wright told about how when a 'Nova manager wipes the sweat off the floor, he'd better get recognized for it by players or that is an egregious offense. The crowd responded to that one. This wasn't a Temple hoops crowd viewing Wright as the enemy. This guy on stage preaching staying hungry and humble got a warm reception.

"You win the national title, people will listen to it, right?" Wright said later. "When you lose in the second round, people are: 'Yeah, great. You all respect each other. Good.' They're not really interested in that."

mjensen@phillynews.com

@jensenoffcampus