Gonzo: Don't call the fun police

A few years ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who also happens to be a writer. We were talking about a certain big-foot politician and why so many people love taking shots at him. That's when my buddy said something I'll never forget: "The tallest blade of grass is the first to get cut."

That's the way it goes when you're a star. DeSean Jackson is starting to find that out. The more he acts like himself, the bigger he gets, the more swipes people take in an attempt to chop him down.

On Sunday, I was driving back from a wedding in Massachusetts, but I still heard plenty from people who weren't so thrilled that Jackson pulled a Paul Hamm and flipped into the end zone. He has a strained groin. What a dope. There's no need for that. And so on.

These are the same people who freaked out and lapsed into uncontrolled spasms when Jackson and his crew orchestrated their rendition of the Any Given Sunday celebration against the Panthers. I received all sorts of angry e-mails and texts after that. Some people thought it was bad enough that Jackson was "flashy," but the unsportsmanlike-conduct penalty he received as a result really drove them insane. It apparently didn't matter that the Eagles beat the Panthers and Chiefs handily, and that Jackson's "showboating" didn't hurt his team even a little bit.

As one Eagles fan put it on the radio: "That's not how you're supposed to act." Of course. It was so much better back in the day. Remember when players wore leather helmets, and fellas named Muggsy went on the lam so their dames wouldn't get them cheesed? Life was so simple then.

When did having a distinctive personality become such an unpardonable sin? When did it become a symbol of what's wrong with these kids today? When I was growing up, athletes rolled out all sorts of unique, self-promoting touchdown celebrations (Desmond Howard and Ickey Woods come to mind), and no one ever called the fun police to have them carted off. But poor DeSean Jackson already has been tried and convicted by those who automatically bristle whenever a player dares to be different. They might as well slap the bracelets on Jackson and drag him off to Graterford to serve his sentence for crimes against "how you're supposed to act."

Football was a lot more fun when there were fewer rules regulating behavior and people weren't so cranky. On the day after the Chiefs game, I read columns and blog posts indicting Jackson's acrobatics. A couple of reporters even pressed the issue with coach Andy Reid at his day-after news conference. I guess they wanted the Eagles patriarch to admonish the lad and send Jackson to bed without supper, but Reid wouldn't oblige.

"I don't mind a little personality," Reid said. "I think that's good for the team. I know with DeSean, when I tell him to act like he's been there, he can tell me he's been there once or twice. Adding a little spice to it doesn't hurt."

If you're spice-intolerant, bang back some Mylanta and take a deep breath. You'll feel better.

Went to the 76ers media day recently. (You remember the 76ers, don't you? Anyone? Hello?) It was an interesting scene.

At one point, after giving more quotes about why he needs extended playing time, Samuel Dalembert was walking off the Wachovia Center floor when he saw two little girls doing splits. So he joined them. Ever see a 6-foot-11 center do a full split that the most flexible cheerleaders couldn't pull off? That's a stop-and-stare moment right there.

Even better: NBC10's John Clark talked to Andre Iguodala about the Stanky Leg and LeSean McCoy's rendition of it in the end zone. For the pop culture deficient among you, Urban Dictionary defines the Stanky Leg as "1. A dance that makes you look stupid by the GS Boyz. 2. A dance where you stick out your leg and rotate it around."

Clark and Iguodala agreed that McCoy needed to "put more stank on it." It's a good thing people who detest DeSean Jackson's individuality didn't hear that conversation. It would have caused quite a few code-blue coronaries.

The Sixers ought to forget about the all-you-can-eat packages and other promotions and put on a halftime show with Dalembert doing splits while Iguodala and Clark try to out-stank each other's legs. They'd sell out every game.

A quick programming note: Tomorrow's weekly Fantasy Football chat on Philly.com has been moved back to 3 p.m. We'll return to our regular 1 p.m. start time next week. . . . Former Mets manager and master-of-disguise Bobby Valentine is returning from exile in Japan to rejoin ESPN's Baseball Tonight. I hope he sports the Groucho Marx 'stache on his first show. . . . There hasn't been enough Spectrum nostalgia over the last year. Mercifully, Comcast SportsNet is set to right that grievous wrong. On Monday at 9 p.m., the station will show Building a Memory - an hour-long documentary about the building that's been thrown more farewell parties than Brett Favre. To borrow from L.L., don't call it a comeback - the Spectrum has been here for years.