From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley
Subject: Phils' reality show

Welcome back, Bob.

The Phillies will star in a new MLB Network reality show called The Pen. Starting Sunday at 8 p.m., the show will run for six weeks and will be narrated by Mitch Williams. It's all about life in the Phils' bullpen from spring training to the all-star break.

Are you in? Or are Phillies games enough reality for you?

From: Ford, Bob
To: Gonzalez, John; Fox, Ashley
Subject: Phils' reality show

Won't watch it, but that's nothing new for me. My feeling about all reality shows is that, once a camera is introduced, reality changes and ceases to be, well, reality.

From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley
Subject: Phils' reality show

I think it could be fun. I've always wondered what happens out in the pen while they're waiting and wondering if they'll pitch that evening.

From: Ford, Bob
To: Gonzalez, John; Fox, Ashley
Subject: Phils' reality show

Oh, Gonzogullible. You think it's all Bull Durham out there, don't you, with guys giving each other a hot foot and talking about funny stuff? It's as boring as sitting in a train station waiting room, with people who are a lot dumber than the average traveler.

From: Fox, Ashley
To: Ford, Bob; Gonzalez, John
Subject: Phils' reality show

Bobby's back? Great. After a week away, I'm sure he's Mr. Happy today, too.

I'm not a fan of reality TV - I've never seen American Idol or DWTS or Biggest Loser - but if I was going to watch something, I'd rather watch a show about Mitch's escapades. How about an episode just about his hair? Or his glasses? Or follow him to Chickie's and Pete's? Now that'd be funny.

I couldn't sleep last night and caught back-to-back episodes of Kendra Wilkinson's show. Ugh. I get her appeal, but it's not for me. And to see Hank Baskett involved in that show just doesn't seem right. He's one of the nicest guys in the Eagles' locker room, and it all just seems too plastic for him.

From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley
Subject: Phils' reality show

Haven't seen the Kendra show but plastic sounds right.

From: Ford, Bob
To: Gonzalez, John; Fox, Ashley
Subject: Phils reality show

Oh, yeah. I'm Mr. Happy, and I'm about to leave for that hellhole in Queens. Maybe I'll get a two-hour rain delay or, yes, extra innings! Can't be more delighted. So let's snap it up here. I'm gone for a week and I come back and it's still Kendra and Mitch and Gonzo. Don't you ever get tired of this drivel, Gonzoman?

From: Fox, Ashley
To: Ford, Bob; Gonzalez, John
Subject: Phils' reality show

Wow. It's worse than I thought.