From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley

Subject: D.C. and the BCS

According to the Wall Street Journal, as early as next week the House could vote on a bill aimed at forcing the BCS out of business and promoting a playoff system. The bill wouldn't ban the BCS, but it would bar the "promotion, marketing and advertising" of the BCS game as a national championship, thereby choking off much of the revenue that makes the game attractive to the NCAA.

I'm all for a playoff system, but should Washington get involved here?

From: Fox, Ashley

To: Gonzalez, John; Ford, Bob

Subject: D.C. and the BCS

Let's see what else the good ol' boys in Washington can fix: Tiger's marriage, A.I.'s watch, John Pelphrey's hair, Notre Dame's football program. While they're at it, Congress should investigate the pay-for-play nature of college basketball, NBA referees and the cost of beer at stadiums around the NFL. And, how about figure out a way to save the newspaper industry.

From: Ford, Bob

To: Gonzalez, John; Fox, Ashley

Subject: D.C. and the BCS

I have to admit, I'm not a strict constitutionalist, but I think the legislative branch of our fine system of government should have more pressing matters than whether Florida gets screwed out of a chance for a football championship. Or Boise State or whoever. You didn't mention who was sponsoring the bill. It must be some idiot from a state where the football team will be left out. He's trying to be Joe Homer for his constituents, so maybe they'll vote for him again. It all makes me want to throw up, like just about everything else that comes out of Washington.

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley

Subject: D.C. and the BCS

The bill is sponsored by Rep. Bobby Rush (D., Ill.) and Rep. Joe Barton (R., Texas) and is expected to make it out of the Energy and Commerce subcommittee. Like you said, Robert, this is good politics. What sports-loving American wouldn't want his representative to manufacture a playoff system? Voting against it would be political suicide - worse than raising taxes or sleeping with your page.

I've changed my mind. I'm all for this. If they can't fix the economy or rescue Social Security, they might as well give us a better college football season. If Nero fiddled while Rome burned, why can't we watch a real championship while America crumbles?

From: Ford, Bob

To: Gonzalez, John; Fox, Ashley

Subject: D.C. and the BCS

It's close at this point, Gonzopinko, but I still believe in the Congress of the United States of America more than I believe in the NCAA and the Bowl Championship Series. I mean, if the BCS were really in charge, we'd probably still be in the United Nations. What? We are?

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley

Subject: D.C. and the BCS

I realize how much you love America, Fordatroops. Maybe you think Congress has better things to worry about, but I disagree. What's more Mom and Apple Pie than declaring a true national champion?

If we don't do this, the terrorists win.