MAYBE VINCE McMAHON SHOULD TAKE over as head of professional cycling.

Or maybe he already has.

The hearing for Floyd Landis yesterday certainly had all the plots and twists of the WWE, when former Tour de France champ Greg LeMond told the court he had been sexually abused as a child and that the Landis people tried to use that info as blackmail to keep LeMond from testifying.

Geez, can the the scantily clad women be far behind?

Landis tested positive for doping after Stage 17 of last year's Tour. A three-man arbitration panel is hearing testimony to decide whether to uphold that. If it does, Landis could face a 2-year ban from cycling and become the first person in the 104-year history of the Tour to have his title stripped for a doping offense.

LeMond's involvement, in short, goes like this: After he heard of Landis' positive testing, LeMond told him to come clean for the good of the sport. When Landis questioned what good that would do and lamented how his family and friends would be hurt, LeMond told him of the sexual abuse he endured, starting at age 6, and how things worked out for the best.

Fast forward to Wednesday night when LeMond said he got a threatening phone call from Landis' manager, Will Geoghegan.

"He said, 'I'll be there tomorrow and we can talk about how we used to' perform a sexual act, LeMond said. "I thought this was intimidation to keep me from coming here."

LeMond said he traced the call to Geoghegan's cell phone and filed a police report.

At the end of the day, LeMond confronted Geoghegan, but resisted putting him in a figure-four leg lock.

Stay tuned. This is already almost as interesting as the Tour de France itself.

Just kidding. *

- Bob Cooney