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Hamels: Not enough Philly in him

This will come as no surprise to anyone who watched Cole Hamels pitch or answer questions Saturday night - or any other night - but the Phillies lefthander might be the most un-Philly Philadelphia athlete ever.

This will come as no surprise to anyone who watched Cole Hamels pitch or answer questions Saturday night - or any other night - but the Phillies lefthander might be the most un-Philly Philadelphia athlete ever.

Mike Schmidt was an enigma, too, but at some level he understood us and, eventually, we grasped him. Ditto Randall Cunningham and many others who have passed through but never left their hearts in South Philadelphia.

Hamels will never be one of us and it's not his fault.

The whiny voice. The fashion-mag looks. He was born with those. In Southern California, no less.

That's all fine for him. But it's grating to us.

The boos Saturday. The gradual disillusionment. It was inevitable. The only way Hamels was going to stay in the city's good graces was if he continued to pitch his butt off.

Philly likes its pasta sauce red, its milk shakes black and white, and its sports heroes blue-collar.

The fans love it when someone who can play reminds them of a stevedore (Brian Dawkins), a steamfitter (Pete Rose), or a sanitation worker (Lenny Dykstra).

Hamels, it's always apparent, makes his living with his arm, not his hands.

It's easier to imagine him as a waiter in a trendy restaurant ("Hi, I'm Cole. I'll be your waiter. Would you like to hear our specials?"); a dance instructor ("You call that a battement fondue?"); an architect ("If I don't use dentil molding, it could ruin the neoclassical motif."); or a model ("Work it, Cole. Work it!").

When a guy like that fails in a town like this, it could get ugly.

Natural splendor

Did you see that gorgeous moon over the ballpark last night? Then again, who hasn't seen a moon at the sports complex on a day when the Eagles play?

Game 4 limerick

So what's up with Big Ryan the K?

His swing picked a fine time to stray.

We'd just like some contact.

Is that wish so abstract?

So, please, lay off the slider away.

Say what?

Ben Shpigel is a fine young baseball writer at the New York Times. But he doesn't know Philly.

In an article yesterday about our passionate fans, Shpigel called the 1982-83 NBA champion 76ers "probably the best team ever to play in Philadelphia."

Excuse me?

Better than the Wilt Chamberlain-led 1966-67 Sixers championship team that went 68-13? Better than the 1929-31 Philadelphia A's? Better than the Broad Street Bullies? Better than these Phillies?

That Sixers team was very good. But it won one title before Harold Katz put the team on a talent diet.

And speaking of national-media oversights concerning Pennsylvania sports, an MLB Network poll is asking viewers to name the greatest home run in World Series history.

The candidates are Carlton Fisk's in '75, Kirk Gibson's in '88, Kirby Puckett's in '91 and Joe Carter's in '93.

Excuse me, again.

Did any of them end a Game 7 like Bill Mazeroski's in 1960?

nolead begins

Never a good sign when . . .

The big group of cops at an outfield entrance before a game involving fans from New York and Philadelphia is wearing shirts that say "Bucks County Major Incident Response Team" on their backs.

Some of the Eagles fans tailgating during the Phillies game began drinking at 6 a.m.

The concourse banner picturing Joe Blanton, the pitcher who battled big CC Sabathia in Game 4, is located above a cotton-candy stand.

nolead begins

Game 4 pop quiz

Has any other organization produced two stars who ended up as goofy as Darren Daulton and Steve Carlton?

A. Yes; B. No; C. Does the Mummers count?

The small cluster of Hasidic Jews at last night's game, were they:

A. Yankees fans; B. Phillies fans; C. Lost.

Where was the biggest pregame line last night?

A. Tony Luke's; B. The Majestic Clubhouse Store; C. The Build Your Own Phanatic Shop.

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