Bandits make off with 96 stolen bananas from Hatboro Wawa
Ill-fated fruit heist was a “drunken mistake.”
It was the perfect crime.
Well, it was a crime, anyway.
Early last Saturday morning, a little after 2 a.m., two men entered a Wawa on York and Horsham roads in Hatboro and — apparently fueled by hunger and/or a lingering potassium deficiency — made off with 96 bananas.
The banana bandits departed the store in a black Hyundai Santa Cruz.
From the start, the heist confounded authorities.
“I haven’t been doing this super long — been here for like nine years — but this is the first time someone’s stolen more than one or two bananas,” said Conner Dilks, a detective sergeant with the Hatboro Police Department.
Police took a report of the theft later Saturday morning. They also obtained a photo of the two suspects — who had made no attempt to disguise their appearance and were captured in exceptionally clear security camera footage — which was promptly posted to the department’s online crime watch portal.
“The Hatboro Police Department is investigating a retail theft at Wawa where two individuals stole approximately 96 bananas,” read an accompanying post. “Yes … 96 bananas."
“We need your help identifying the individuals in the attached photos,” the post went on.
As any law enforcement official will tell you, the first 48 hours after a crime are vital — and police in Hatboro wasted little time; that same day, a tip arrived identifying the two men.
Questioned by authorities, the two individuals quickly admitted their role in the heist, and agreed to pay the total for the 96 bananas — $114.
As for motive?
“We got an explanation as to why they did it,” acknowledged Dilks. “And it was a drunken mistake.”
Neither man was taken into custody.
“Wawa just requested that they pay the full price of the bananas and they wouldn’t be charged, and that’s what happened,” Dilks said.
Still, questions about the ill-fated heist remain.
As of press time, for instance, authorities were unsure what had become of the 96 bananas.