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Cyberbullying is on the rise in N.J. schools. Here are the warning signs.

When schools fully reopened in the 2021-22 school year, a state report said, “an alarming 7,672 incidents” were confirmed, and 19,138 investigations were reported.

Bullying is on the rise in New Jersey public schools, according to a New Jersey Anti-Bullying Task Force report.
Bullying is on the rise in New Jersey public schools, according to a New Jersey Anti-Bullying Task Force report.Read moreAlejandro A. Alvarez / Staff Photographer

Bullying is on the rise in New Jersey public schools, with an alarming number of students turning to social media to spread rumors or threaten their classmates physically or verbally, according to a new state report.

Cyberbullying has increased from 15% of all bullying incidents in 2018-19, to 37% in 2021-22, according to the latest report by the New Jersey Anti-Bullying Task Force. It was second to verbal bullying, which accounted for 44% of incidents.

Cyberbullying, which can take place on digital devices such as cell phones, computers and tablets, is considered any harassment conducted through emails, text messages , on social media such as Snapchat and TikTok, or forums and chats where users share content.

About 22% of students between 12 and 18 nationwide experienced cyberbullying in 2019, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. Experts say cyberbullying can be difficult to stop because teachers and parents may not witness cyberbullying taking place.

The report noted that cyberbullying may be underreported or not reported at all. Students who are victims of cyberbullying are more likely than their peers to have thoughts of suicide, the report said.

When schools fully reopened in the 2021-22 school year, the report said, “an alarming 7,672 incidents” were confirmed, and 19,138 investigations were reported. The task force said that number represents the most harassment, intimidation, or bullying (HIB) cases reported since the state began collecting the data.

Advocates have called for the state to make its antibullying laws even better by implementing an anonymous bullying reporting system that allows students to use their cell phones, and easing immunity statutes that currently make it difficult for parents to sue districts.

Several recent New Jersey bullying cases have made national headlines:

In February 2023, Felicia LoAlbo-Melendez, 11, died by suicide at the F.W. Holbein School in Mount Holly. In a lawsuit, her family said the sixth grader was relentlessly bullied by classmates, and school officials did nothing to stop it.

The Rockaway Township School District in Morris County reached a $9.1 million settlement in July with the family of a 12-year-old girl who was relentlessly cyberbullied and died by suicide. It was the largest settlement of a bullying case in New Jersey history.

Here’s what to know about bullying and how to spot the warning signs for your children.

What is bullying?

According to www.StopBullying.gov, bullying is any unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. Often kids use their physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity to bully, control or harm others. It can include making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. The behavior is usually repeated or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

Bullying can occur during or after school hours. It can also happen on the playground, on the school bus, at the bus stop, when kids are traveling to and from school, at school-sponsored events and in their neighborhood. Bullying can take place face-to-face or behind the scenes, with the same impact.

It may be motivated by an actual or perceived characteristic such as race, religion, or sexual orientation; a mental, physical, or sensory disability; or by any other distinguishing characteristic.

What types of bullying are there?

In addition to cyberbullying, other types of bullying include verbal bullying — written or spoken — teasing, taunting, name-calling and making inappropriate sexual remarks.

Bullying can turn physical and may include hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, tripping or pushing. It may also involve taking or breaking personal possessions. Making mean or rude hand gestures also can be considered bullying.

Social bullying, also known as relational bullying, typically involves trying to damage someone’s reputation. Some examples include deliberately excluding someone, telling other students not to befriend someone, spreading rumors, or publicly embarrassing someone.

Signs your child is being bullied

Experts say not every child who is bullied will alert an adult. Immediate help should be sought for a child in distress or danger. Stopbullying.gov recommends that parents and guardians look for signs that may indicate a bullying problem:

  1. Unexplainable injuries

  2. Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry

  3. Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness

  4. Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.

  5. Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares

  6. Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school

  7. Feelings of helplessness or low self-esteem

  8. Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide

Signs your child is a bully

There are many factors that can contribute to why kids bully others. Those more likely to bully are overly concerned about their popularity and enjoy being in charge or dominating others. They are more isolated from their peers and may be depressed or anxious, have low self-esteem, be less involved in school, be easily pressured by peers, or not identify with the emotions or feelings of others. Some warning signs include:

  1. Getting into physical or verbal fights

  2. Associating with friends who bully others

  3. Becoming increasingly aggressive

  4. Getting sent frequently to the principal’s office or to detention

  5. Coming home with unexplained extra money or new belongings

What should I do if I suspect bullying?

New Jersey has some of the toughest antibullying laws in the country.

Every suspected act of bullying must be reported by a teacher or staff member and investigated by a school district. A parent may also report incidents.

Parents have a right to know the type of investigation conducted, whether the district found evidence of harassment, intimidation, or bullying, or whether any discipline was imposed or services provided to address the bullying. Decisions made by the superintendent and ultimately approved by the board may be appealed to the state education commissioner.

For more information, contact your local district or go to the New Jersey Department of Education’s “Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying” website.