Dear Abby | Friends are short of sympathy after possible COVID-19 exposure

DEAR ABBY: My husband came down with COVID-19 and has been having a hard time getting over it. When he first started showing the symptoms, I took him to a drive-through medical clinic and got him tested for COVID. The results were negative, so a couple of days later, I carpooled with a friend to another friend’s house where seven other friends had gathered. Several days later, when my husband still wasn’t improving, I took him to an ER where they did another COVID-19 test. This time it came out positive.

I thought I owed it to whomever I was around at the get-together to tell them about my husband. At this get-together, we all wore masks. We took them off only to eat and then put them back on. It has been more than 14 days since my husband got sick, and although he is not yet over the virus, I haven’t come down with it.

I thought my friends would be supportive of me and what my husband is going through. However, I learned from one of these “friends” of more than 20 years that they formed a private Facebook group to discuss how each one has been doing on a daily basis, and I was not invited to participate. I feel betrayed by these paranoid friends. At this point, I don’t think I can ever look at any of them the same way. I have been contemplating ending my friendship with all of them. What do you think?

— KICKED WHEN DOWN IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR KICKED: I think you should ask the friend who told you about the private Facebook group whether any of the women got sick after that get-together. If the answer is yes, make an appointment and have yourself COVID-tested — twice, if necessary — to ensure that you are not a symptomless carrier. If it turns out that you are positive, tell your friends.

If you test negative, your first priority should be to help your husband get well and protect yourself from getting the virus. As to whether you should end your relationship with these “distanced” friends, from the way they are behaving, it appears they may have ended their relationship with YOU, and for that you have my sympathy.

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DEAR ABBY: I recently had my hair dyed by my brother-in-law who is a great hairstylist. I have seen his work on other clients, and he knows what he’s doing. I have received a lot of compliments on my new “do.”

Problem is, I didn’t get what I ASKED for. I was a coward at the time and didn’t speak up. Now my roots are starting to show, and I’ll be needing a touch-up soon. How do I go about going to another salon for what I want without hurting his feelings or causing hard feelings with my sister-in-law?

— COWARD IN KANSAS

DEAR COWARD IN KANSAS: Make the appointment and have your hair done the way you prefer. If your sister- or brother-in-law asks about it, say you know he is terrific and how busy he is and didn’t want to “impose” further. If he’s as good as you say he is, he will notice that the color is different from what he used on you.

You’re not a coward for wanting to spare your BIL’s feelings. You do a disservice to him, however, as a professional for not being truthful about your opinion of his work on you. If he mentions it, explain that this is a color you are more comfortable with. Your head, your choice.