How to have a Perfect Philly Day, according to Gritty

Ever since he emerged from the rubble of the Wells Fargo arena construction site in 2018, the Philadelphia Flyers mascot, Gritty, has been busy wreaking havoc across Philadelphia. One moment he’s dumping popcorn on Flyers fans in the Chaos Corner, the next he’s mooning the goalkeeper for the Boston Bruins. More often than not, he’s behaving recklessly with a T-shirt cannon.

Despite being famous for his game day antics, Gritty arguably gets into even more mischief off the ice. Who can forget his infamous Kim Kardashian impression?

Or that time he crashed Stephen Colbert’s Super Bowl party. Or how about when he tore through the streets of Philadelphia on a motorcycle to celebrate his third birthday. What did he do on his fourth birthday? Get divorced and start smoking Marlboro Reds?

Does Gritty like being so busy? If he could spend his day doing anything he wanted, would he really spend it throwing sheet cake at people and making celebrity appearances everywhere? To find out, we asked the bright orange, google-eyed mascot to walk us through his perfect Philly day, and he responded in his perfect Gritty way.

I roll out of bed just so I can tell people that I get up before them. I’m no hero, so I go back to bed. I sleep naked on a concrete floor, no covers, with a memory foam pillow.

By this point in the morning, I’ve hit snooze a fist full of times. Time to start my lil day. First things first, coffee. I like my coffee like I like myself: gritty. I make it with no filter because I like the pulp. I drink it outside so I can bask in the sweet sounds of I-95 rush hour traffic.

I’m a pretty busy Gritty. I make appearances at events all over the city. I’m also incredibly photogenic, as you know. I reserve my mid-mornings for events and photoshoots. My favorite thing to do is the 2026 Gritty calendar. It’s for charity, NBD. I’ll do anything for the perfect shot, like squeezing my nude body into one of those skinny rowboats at boathouse row and laboring my way down the Schuylkill.

I’ll do a little lunch at one of my favorite Philly spots. There’s a dumpster on Broad Street that serves the most delicious half-eaten burritos. I’m gatekeeping the location because I don’t want to see my favorite burrito spot overrun with tourists. But trust me, they’re decent.

I usually eat until I feel sick, so I like to take a nap after lunch. I’ll sneak onto one of those ships at the navy yard and go down for about an hour. Hopefully my upset tum tum settles.

» READ MORE: I built my own ‘Itty Bitty Gritty’ at the new Gritty store. He’s hideous. I love him.

I’ve got people to see and places to be. But instead I do neither. The afternoon is my moment of Zen. Maybe a quiet walk, maybe a light jog, maybe a full sprint after a group of strangers just to keep them on edge. There’s not a bad place in the city to chase strangers. Head on a swivel, Philly.

Time for dinner. I’m a bit of a health nut, so I’m having a salad with a steak on the side. Maybe my steak is slathered in cheese. Maybe I eat it on a roll. Okay, maybe it’s a cheesesteak. It could be from anywhere. I don’t judge a cheesesteak on taste. Only on girth. Maybe I don’t stop at just one. Maybe I didn’t want to talk about it because I thought you’d judge me. Maybe get off my case about it. Maybe cheesesteaks are the state fruit of Philadelphia, and I’m a supportive citizen.

Maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to judge if you relaxed a little bit and had a cheesesteak for yourself. Maybe I’m just built different and my body craves protein, and this is the only way to maintain my perfect fazeek. Maybe you’re just jealous that you’re counting calories while I’m counting empty wrappers. Anyway, yeah cheesesteak dinner.

It’s game time. I’m spending the next few hours at Xfinity Mobile Arena getting the people going! My favorite place, my home. I like to keep it out of pocket at Flyers games. Make some people laugh, throw some cake at people. No perfect day of mine would be complete without hurling a sheet cake through the air at a stranger’s face. Highly recommend if you’ve never tried. I live for chaos and chaos lives for me.

Time to sleep. Naked. Airing out the follicles is a very important part of my fur care routine.