Rilo Kiley, Haim or Eagles vs. Cowboys? What’s a Philly millennial to do on Thursday?

You might want to check on your local Philadelphia millennial because they’re currently facing an impossible choice.

This Thursday, a series of events, the likes of which 30- to 44-year-olds haven’t seen since the iPhone debuted the same day that Ratatouille hit theaters, is taking place across the city.

Specifically, two beloved indie rock bands — Haim and the recently reunited Rilo Kiley — are scheduled to perform at the same time the Eagles play their first game of the season, against ’90s-coded rivals the Dallas Cowboys.

What’s a former craft-beer-guzzling, vinyl-listening, skinny-jeans-wearing thirty-something to do? If only we could clone ourselves and send different versions to each event: the messy teenager to Rilo Kiley at the Met Philly, the hungover 25-year-old to Haim at the Mann Center, and the bright-eyed child who learned what Eagles fandom meant by loving Randall Cunningham to the game at Lincoln Financial Field.

Unsure of what to do? Here’s my advice: Choose the event that best captures that bubbly, millennial feeling for you. Remember hope and change? Me neither, except when I listen to Rilo Kiley’s seminal album, The Execution of All Things.

If, for you, the best way to trigger the fond remembrances of things past is by watching the Eagles dominate the Cowboys like they did during their final home opener at the Vet in 2002, by all means, throw on your favorite “Dallas Sucks” shirt and cue up the game.

The good news is that there is time left to choose because tickets to all three events as of Wednesday evening. And, hey, if you want to forgo all three in favor of rewatching Season 2 of The Office for the hundredth time — We’re parents now! We have work in the morning! — go for it. Or, if you really want to feel old, tune in to The Office spinoff, The Paper, instead. It premieres on — you guessed —it. Thursday.

📆 Thursday, Sept. 4, 7:30 p.m.,📍TD Pavilion at the Mann, 🌐 Tickets available here

📆 Thursday, Sept. 4, 8 p.m., 📍 The Met Philadelphia, 🌐 Tickets available here.

📆 Thursday, Sept. 4, 8:20 p.m.,📍 Lincoln Financial Field, 🌐 Tickets available here.