The first time

Today I’m thinking about the first time.

No, not that first time.

I can barely remember that first time.

All I remember is we had McDonald’s beforehand.

Am I a cheap date or what?

Not even an appetizer.

In his defense, it was college and we were broke.

And yes, I waited until college.

With my high school boyfriend.

Now you know.

I’m thinking about first times today, because I’m about to open a box of my new book, which is coming out this week. So this will be the first time I see a copy of What Happened to the Bennetts.

Meanwhile I already know what happened to the Bennetts.

In fact, I decided what happened to the Bennetts.

But the surprise ending surprised even me, which is what happens when you write a novel without an outline.

But this isn’t the first time I’ve opened a box of my own books. I’ve done that 43 times.

You might be wondering, does it ever get old?

The answer is, have you had spaghetti?

I have.

I’ve had spaghetti about a million times.

I could have it a million more times.

The only thing better would be if I opened a box of spaghetti.

Or a million boxes of spaghetti.

Wow!

What’s different about this first time is I’m going to do an unboxing video. If you’re not familiar with unboxing videos, you can see plenty on YouTube, where people film themselves opening a box of something they just got.

That’s it.

That’s the whole video.

You don’t know the person, and it doesn’t matter.

They even tell you what they got in advance, so it’s not even a surprise ending, like a book.

By any reasonable measure, an unboxing video should be a stupid thing to watch. I used to think they were weird, until I watched one, then two, and then a million.

This is why I stay off of YouTube.

And why I’m not on TikTok.

Because tick-tock is the sound of my time wasting, and I can waste time like it’s a job.

Don’t judge.

If you throw a pandemic at me, then a war, sooner or later I’m going to watch some lady get a new pair of sneakers.

Yay!

Watching an unboxing video is fun. You might think it would make you jealous, because you’re not getting what’s in the box, but it doesn’t. It’s like when you go to a birthday party and watch somebody open a bunch of gifts. You’re not jealous, are you? You’re happy for them.

An unboxing video is exactly like that. Only it’s strangers on nobody’s birthday.

The question is, why am I doing an unboxing video?

I think the answer is, because I want to share this first time.

This is ironic because usually I’m not great at sharing.

For example, I never share spaghetti. If I’m out to dinner, I don’t want to share my spaghetti. If you want the spaghetti, you should have ordered it. I ordered it because I love it and want to eat every bite.

This is why I hate restaurants that are family style.

I go to restaurants that are Lisa-style.

Where adults decide what they want, order it, and eat it all.

Francesca will happily share her food in restaurants. But she knows better than to ask me.

I gave her life, but I’m not giving her spaghetti.

Don’t think I love my daughter less than spaghetti. I love her more than spaghetti. I would happily buy her a plate of spaghetti.

Just not mine.

So now you understand.

I’m going to open a box of books, and I’d be delighted if you watch. I’m going to do it on my Facebook page, live online, this coming Monday night, March 21 at 7:30 p.m. ET. We can have a big celebration, because truly, I’m grateful to my readers who have made my job possible for over 30 years. I thank you for that, in any way I can.

You’ve all supported me and my books, and I love my job and I love writing books. I like to think they’re terrific and I put them into the world with the hope that you read them.

My books are the same as this column, in which I share parts of my life.

So you see, I do share some things.

Otherwise, don’t ask.

Look for Lisa’s new domestic thriller, “What Happened to the Bennetts,” coming March 29. Also, look for Lisa’s best-selling historical novel, “Eternal,” in paperback. Francesca’s critically acclaimed debut novel, “Ghosts of Harvard,” is now in paperback.