I thought I was a jewelry person.
But I’m having an identity crisis.
Let me explain.
I’ve always liked jewelry.
I have no excuse except estrogen.
Inside every woman is a crow, collecting glittery things.
Don’t call me sexist. I’m joking around.
But there is such a thing as 24-karat magic.
And over the years I’ve bought jewelry for myself, no matter my income.
When I was trying to become a writer, I was broke for about 10 years and could not afford health insurance.
But I had a very nice collection of Monet costume jewelry.
I’m pretty sure gold is good for what ails you.
And gold plate helps the sniffles.
When I made more money, I started splurging on real gold jewelry. Over the years, I bought myself earrings, bracelets, and a necklace or two.
On Valentine’s Day, I even bought myself an engagement ring.
I was reminding myself to stay engaged with life.
You don’t need a man to have a ring.
They give it to you if you go to the store with money.
They call it self-purchase, but I call it self-care.
So you get the idea. I’ve always liked jewelry, and I like it enough that I identify with it, as in: I’m a jewelry person.
By the way, I love dogs and call myself a dog person.
I love cats and call myself a cat person.
I love horses, but I’ve never called myself a horse person.
I’m not going to allow that to shoot my theory.
The bottom line is that there are people, like me, who like something so much that they identify with it beyond proportion.
Like me being an Eagles fan, too.
I have more team gear than I can count.
Maybe you do, too.
In any event, next came quarantine, and I found myself not wearing any jewelry at all. If you remember in the beginning, they were telling to us to wash our hands all the time, so I took off my rings, including my engagement ring.
Maybe I wasn’t ready for the commitment.
Then I stopped wearing my bracelets and necklaces. I got down to my watch, which I love because I’m old.
Some people tell time by their phones, but I’m sick of my phone.
I’m not a phone person.
See what I mean?
Anyway it got me thinking: If I’m a jewelry person, why did I stop wearing jewelry?
Was I wearing jewelry only to impress others?
Am I a jewelry person or just a show-off?
And then I noticed another thing, which is that I started putting some jewelry back on. I didn’t mean to do this, but basically I Marie Kondoed myself in that I took everything off and then started to notice what I put back on.
And what I put back on were my talismans.
That’s jewelry for superstitious people.
I got some from Mother Mary, who gave me a necklace with a little gold horn to ward off evil spirits. And also a little coral fist, to keep away the evil eye.
My mother did not need trinkets to ward off the evil eye.
She gave the evil eye.
I also put back on a gold bracelet that Francesca had given me, with two carnelian beads, since they are supposed to inspire creativity and I need to get back to work. Finally I put on my birthday present from my best friend Franca, which was a necklace with a carnelian pendant and a religious medal of St. Francis de Sales, patron saint of writers.
So now I’m draped in talismans, charms, and amulets.
I don’t know if I’m a jewelry person or Strega Nona.
Do I need a jeweler or an exorcist?
Anyway I’m hoping my talismans will ward off the coronavirus.
I’m a woman of science and superstition.
I wear a mask and a gold horn.
I’ll keep you posted on how I fare.
If I live, you’ll know why.
Look for Lisa and Francesca’s humor collection, “I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses,” and Lisa’s first historical novel, “Eternal,” coming on March 23, 2021. Also look for Francesca’s debut novel, “Ghosts of Harvard,” on sale now.