Blue ribbon

Treat yourself.

As soon as humanly possible.

Why?

Because you deserve it.

You’re wondering how I know, but I do.

I’m sure you did something good that no one has applauded you for yet.

For example, you read me.

That means it’s time to treat yourself.

I swear to God, I live my life this way. I give myself rewards all the time.

Usually my rewards are carbohydrates.

For example, if I drive to New York, I get spaghetti.

Two hours on I-95 deserves spaghetti.

When I come home, I get Lambrusco.

Most people would have Lambrusco with spaghetti.

That’s not how the game goes.

I make up the rules.

The wine is truly relaxing and I can’t really relax until I’m home.

By the way, you can make any rules you want in your reward game. You can have the spaghetti and the Lambrusco together. Or you can skip the spaghetti and have two glasses of Lambrusco.

Or three.

It’s your life. And your liver.

So what got me deserving a reward is I just finished the first draft of my next book, which is hard because I write without an outline, which means I don’t know how it ends.

Until I write The End.

Anyway, I was proud of myself and decided I deserved a treat.

But what does every girl really want?

A pony.

That is, every 6-year-old girl.

But what if you’re 66?

No matter.

I say this because my pony Buddy passed away about two years ago, at the age of 33. He was a great little pony, who would do anything, go anywhere, and be an all-around good guy.

Basically, the marriage material of ponies.

Buddy was little, and some people would laugh when I rode him, but I didn’t mind.

I got what I wanted.

And that’s what matters.

If you have a wish, try to fulfill it.

Life is do-it-yourself wish fulfillment.

So I saw a Facebook ad with a photo of a 6-year-old girl with a cute paint pony.

I ride horses that children grow out of.

If the owner has pigtails, I’m in.

That’s my speed.

Adorable.

The next day, I drove down to Maryland, rode the pony, and had a great time.

Somebody’s grandchild was taking a lesson on her the next day.

I don’t have grandchildren, so I’m becoming my own.

By the way, on the way home, I treated myself to a cheese hoagie from Wawa. Because I drove to Maryland.

Remember what I said about two hours on I-95?

It works north and south.

The pony’s name is Fancy, but I didn’t get her yet. Other people want her, and I have to ride her one more time to make sure she’s not too fast.

Yes, I might be overmatched by a children’s pony.

If I get her, I’m changing her name. She’s not fancy, and I’m not fancy.

I suspect the name appeals to little girls who want to win ribbons.

Girls learn about rewards early.

But ribbons aren’t the best reward.

And the thing to reward yourself for is making yourself happy.

If you do that, you just get happier.

You win!

Anyway Fancy needs a new name, but she knows her name, so it has to rhyme with Fancy.

Daughter Francesca thought of the best new name:

Nancy, for Nancy Drew.

My girl crush.

Nancy Drew will be coming home soon, I hope.

The End.

Look for Lisa’s new best-selling domestic thriller, “What Happened to the Bennetts,” on sale now. Also, look for Lisa’s historical novel, “Eternal,” and Francesca’s debut novel, “Ghosts of Harvard,” in paperback.