Skip to content
Entertainment
Link copied to clipboard

šŸ»šŸˆ Choose your starter: Comparing Eagles players to all 12 Fat Bear Week contenders

If Fat Bear Week is a sort of national parks take on fantasy football, where does that leave the players? We went through the roster.

What if the Fat Bear Week contenders were reimagined as Eagles players?
What if the Fat Bear Week contenders were reimagined as Eagles players?Read moreStaff illustration / Getty Images

Fat Bear Week is back and participants across the country are scrolling through brown bear profiles, figuring out who is most deserving of their vote. To many, the annual online bracket, hosted by Alaskaā€™s Katmai National Park, feels like a round of fantasy football ā€” scouting, forming connections with, and rooting for certain bears.

Participants decide which bear they think will eat the most fish and gain the most weight this season ahead of hibernation (basically brown bearsā€™ really long, sleepy Super Bowl). They cast their vote daily through Oct. 11, when a champion is named, an MVB, if you will.

Ā» READ MORE: ā€˜Titans of Tubā€™: A rundown on Fat Bear Week

Summer marks the bearsā€™ pre-season, essentially. There are several returning fan-favorites and thanks to a livestream, fans are able to keep up with their picks throughout the year and even scout for the most promising performers.

That got us to thinking.

If Fat Bear Week really is a sort of a national parks take on fantasy football, where does that leave the players? We went through the roster, along with their bios from the Alaska national park. Hereā€™s each Fat Bear Week contender and their ā€” past and present ā€” Philadelphia Eagles counterpart.

Chunk as Jason Peters

Both Chunk and offensive tackle Jason Peters are independent and dominant. Theyā€™re enigmatic on the field and off. Theyā€™re strong and tactful when it comes to making plays or catching fish. Ironically, Peters signed with the actual Bears last season. Heā€™s now with the Dallas Cowboys.

Grazer as Brian Dawkins

Like Brian Dawkins, Grazer attacks first and is aggressive when necessary. Dawkins plays safety and, much like Grazer, has to make risky defensive plays to protect the goal line. Grazer does the same on the ground, ā€œpreemptively confronting and attacking larger bearsā€ to protect her cubs.

Walker as Jordan Mailata

Walker is described as a large bear who is playful, but serious when he needs to be. The same can be said about offensive tackle Jordan Mailata. Off the field, Mailata has a personality that has also been described as playful. Heā€™s a gentle giant who fills the locker room with giggles.

Bear 164 as Randall Cunningham

Just like former Eagles quarterback Randall Cunningham, this bear reinvented the game. When Bear 164 was first identified in 2019, he was a small but independent 2Ā½-year-old trying to keep up with the big guys. According to the Katmai National Park, it can be hard for smaller bears to develop their angling skills when larger bears occupy the best fishing spots. The younger bears are forced to wait or try less desirable locations. But instead of waiting or competing for an established spot, Bear 164, like Cunningham, helped change the way the game was played. He made his own fishing spot at the base of Brooks Falls. From there, he catches salmon from all angles. No other bear has ever tried to fish there.

Bear 335 as DeSean Jackson

This bear has been described as small, but savvy. Sheā€™s among the youngest featured this Fat Bear Week, giving her a disadvantage when it comes to next to her bigger competition. But she has steadily positioned herself for hibernation by hanging out downriver and scavenging partially eaten and spawned out salmon. Like Bear 335, DeSean Jacksonā€™s smaller stature made for a lot of prejudgment. Listed at 5ā€²10ā€³ and 175 pounds, Jacksonā€™s performance defied his size during his time with the Eagles, making up with speed and the ability to catch the ball.

Holly as Brandon Graham

Eagles defensive end Brandon Graham is no stranger to overcoming physical obstacles. Despite a major injury and early-career struggles, Graham has become a beloved figure and champion. Holly has a similar legacy. She wasnā€™t injured herself, but over the years, one of her cubs faced a leg injury and one suffered from a porcupine quill to the paw. Holly cared for them both, successfully raising them until they were old enough to fend for themselves. Then, she became a champion, winning the Fat Bear Week title in 2019.

Otis as Jason Kelce

A beloved fan favorite, Otis is among the oldest bears featured in Fat Bear Week. Heā€™s a former champion, but his age has prompted health issues that he continues to persevere through. He remains a skilled and patient angler and has won more titles than anyone else (2014, 2016, 2017, and 2021). Like Otis, Jason Kelce is also a beloved champion. In a playful video, Kelce announced his return to the Eagles this season. But at age 34, rumors of an upcoming retirement continue to loom.

Bear 747 as Reggie White

Coming in as the potentially largest brown bear on Earth, 747 is an absolute unit at an estimated 1,400 pounds. Heā€™s a heckinā€™ large bear, asserting his dominance at the river. So it only makes sense to compare him to once-in-a-lifetime defensive end, the 300-pound Reggie White.

Divot as Jon Dorenbos

Like long-snapper Jon Dorenbos, Divot appreciates an audience. She is accustomed to the presence of people at the national park. When she sees them gather to watch her, she puts on a show, fishing in areas they may walk past. Similarly, former Eagle Dorenbos also relished in a crowd. In 2016, he went on Americaā€™s Got Talent to showcase his skills as a magician.

Bear 856 as Fletcher Cox

Bear 856 wasnā€™t always the way you see him today. Now, he is one of the biggest bears at the river, confident and assertive. But growing up, he had a small body compared to the other adults. Similarly, Fletcher Cox was a smaller guy in his high school days before getting swole. Both Cox and Bear 856 face challenges from younger competition (Jordan Davis and Bear 747, respectively). Still, they bide their time by putting in the work and staying patient.

Bear 901 as Darius Slay

For the first time in his career, Darius Slay was voted as a team captain, a testament to his impact on other players, especially the defensive backs. Bear 901 is in a similar scenario. She has yet to match Big Play Slayā€™s impact on the field just yet. Still, she soon may have to make an impression on a younger generation herself. Bear 901 was spotted mating earlier this year, meaning she could have her first litter of cubs to raise next season.

Yearling as DeVonta Smith

Yearling is new on the scene and definitely an underdog. At first glance, the 2-year-old is on the smaller side. She used to wait for her mom to catch salmon for her, but quickly started developing the skills to catch her own ā€” a rarity for bears her age. At 170 pounds, wide receiver DeVonta Smith has also been prematurely judged for his size. But he cleared those doubts in 2020 when he led the NCAA in receptions and won the Heisman Trophy. Yearling has won an award of her own. She was voted this yearā€™s Fat Bear Junior Champion. We know sheā€™s one to keep an eye on.