Carnival Cruises and the Philadelphia Eagles are pleased to announce the first-ever Eagles cruise to set sail in 2021 — tailor-made for the superfan!

Next March, you’ll thrive out on international waters where no one will be able to assist you except for a handful of European cruise workers on their gap year from university who couldn’t care less about the thing you hold most dear.

Indulge in a relaxing voyage where Mikey from Northeast Philly will spell E-A-G-L-E-S in your ear for six straight days while you embark on a schedule made for a fan:

Monday

  • Depart.
  • Super Bowl LII watch party.
  • “Philly Special” contest: You and your party reenact the Philly Special — because we 100% know you have. Top performances win prizes.
  • Debate: Kelly green vs. midnight green — one is a better color, but we won a Super Bowl in the other one. Which will come out on top?

Tuesday

  • Your “dinner with a player” where you will awkwardly fumble with the order of Brussels sprouts as you try to remember a notable moment from Jason Avant’s career.
  • “Dreams and Nightmares karaoke.” Hold on, wait a minute. Do you know the spoken-word part before the sick beat drops in this 2012 Meek Mill classic? Come find out!
  • Pickle juice cocktail hour. Stay hydrated as you slam picklebacks and watch the 2000 regular-season opener against the Dallas Cowboys.

Wednesday

  • On the big screen: Game 4 of the 2006 season. You know the one: Andy Reid mismanaged the clock. Remember the good times!
  • Super Bowl LII watch party.
  • The patented “Terrell Owens in a Morristown driveway” workout.
  • We stop at the Bahamas, where we’ll visit Kevin Kolb, because that’s where he’s been this whole time.

Thursday

  • Remember to mumble “Go, Birds” for the 48th time that day as you bump into your high school science teacher on the pool deck.
  • At the theater: a special performance of Silver Linings Playbook.
  • Join us for a panel of national media members as they apologize for constantly referencing the Santa Claus snowballs thing from 1968 as though it happened last week.
  • Play horseshoes with Donovan McNabb with a special “there are no ties” rule book!

Friday

  • Participate in a football camp while elite athletes throw you a football just after you’ve stuffed your face with Chickie's & Pete's crab fries.
  • On the big screen: Game 12 of the 2015 season. You know the one: Chip Kelly’s offense was on the field for a total of 11 minutes. Continue to remember the good times!
  • Super Bowl LII watch party.

Saturday

  • Autograph session with Barrett Brooks, Damon Moore, and Shane Falco. One of those is made up and you won’t know who.
  • Pole-climbing contest: Can you mount the main deck’s flagpole after it’s been slathered with Crisco? Find out!
  • Arrive back home.
  • Super Bowl LII watch party.

We hope you enjoy your cruise. And remember: A backup QB beat Hall of Famer Tom Brady in the Super Bowl.

Go, Birds.

Sean Blanda lives in Point Breeze. His favorite Eagles receiver is Fred Barnett and his favorite Eagles fan is his mother, Beth.