It’s time to send out holiday cards. You know. Holiday cards? Remember them?
The internet, the cost of stamps and cards, the amount of work, and general ennui have all contributed to the demise of a once-beloved tradition.
It’s suddenly December, and the Thanksgiving leftovers are mostly eaten. That means it’s once again time to make the big decision: Is this the year to finally stop sending holiday cards?
When I graduated from college, I promptly embraced the trappings of adult life, from getting a job to buying a car to moving into my own apartment. But the step that made me feel most adultlike was sending out my own holiday cards. A holiday card from a separate address says: “This is my household. Not my parents’ household, mine.”
Not cheap
Sending holiday cards isn’t cheap.
There are the cards themselves, which go up in price if you’re sending a photo card or selecting fancy lined envelopes. Stamps are currently 78 cents apiece, which doesn’t sound like much, unless you’re sending out 50 cards or more.
And then there’s the issue of time: You have to decide on the cards and purchase them, write a little note in each card, address the envelopes, then make your way to the post office.
Yet, despite the costs in money and time, I’ve always sent out cards, even in my younger, poorer years. There has always been a satisfaction in reaching out to people I don’t see regularly, but who nevertheless have a place in my heart and my history.
Then, about 10 years ago, I realized we were receiving fewer cards each year.
The clogged mailbox became progressively emptier over a span of years, like a dying mall. This shift shows up in statistics from the U.S. Postal Service, which notes that mail bearing postage stamps, including cards, letters, and bill payments, dropped from 16.5 billion pieces of mail in 2019 to 10.7 billion last year.
For the first few years, I worried the non-senders were going through challenging times. A person doesn’t feel very merry if they’ve gotten divorced or been laid off or had a death in the family. But it turned out that — fortunately — very few had faced hardship. They just weren’t sending cards anymore.
“It’s a lot of trouble,” said one. “I don’t have the time,” said another.
And then we got to what seemed to be the real issue: Society has changed.
People who used to send holiday cards can now share photos online of their family and their travels. Because they’re regularly connecting with those far-flung cousins and high school friends on social media, mailing out cards has become redundant and maybe even pointless to them.
People come and people go, and nothing underscores this quite like the holiday card list.
And people today feel less obligated to reciprocate than those from a generation ago, according to research conducted by Brian P. Meier, a psychology professor at Gettysburg College.
Keeping the tradition alive
The young adults in my life, including my own grown children, who are now in their 30s, haven’t just decided against sending cards; the idea never occurred to them in the first place.
So once again, at this time of year, I consider whether to keep the tradition going. But there are several relatives who are not on social media, and there are a few longtime friends I’m in touch with only through holiday cards.
It’s a poignant yearly ritual to go over the list of recipients, noting who has moved, who has married, who has had a baby, and who has passed away. People come and people go, and nothing underscores this quite like the holiday card list.
Better to let them know they’re loved, right now.
So I will get to the task, laying cards and envelopes neatly on the kitchen table. My husband will look at me blankly.
“Are we still doing that?” he’ll ask.
Elizabeth Luciano writes essays and fiction and teaches composition at Bucks County Community College.