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Iraq veteran: The war was wrong. I want closure, accountability.

When my battalion crossed into Iraq 20 years ago, I thought it was a mistake, but hoped I was wrong and would eventually change my mind. That never happened. We need justice for an unjust war.

Manan Trivedi in March 2003, the battalion surgeon for the 1st Battalion, 5th Marines, days prior to when he entered Iraq at the start of the war. Twenty years later, "I'm still angry about it," he writes.
Manan Trivedi in March 2003, the battalion surgeon for the 1st Battalion, 5th Marines, days prior to when he entered Iraq at the start of the war. Twenty years later, "I'm still angry about it," he writes.Read moreManan Trivedi

Twenty years ago, my Marine Corps battalion was one of the first to enter Iraq as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Despite the passing of two decades and significant evidence that there was no real justification for the invasion, no one has been held accountable. What’s more, we still don’t do enough for our veterans, who continue to struggle with the consequences of the war.

In 2003, I was the battalion surgeon for the 1st Battalion, 5th Marines. We crossed the Kuwait-Iraq border and entered Iraq on March 20. Though I didn’t personally support the war, I followed my orders.

I am not a strict pacifist — I believe some wars are necessary, but I do think they should be choices of last resort. I did not believe this was the case in Iraq.

However, that day in March, I remember thinking to myself that hopefully, my perspective would change and that I would look back and realize we did something good.

Twenty years later, my perspective hasn’t changed. I still think the war in Iraq was wrong, and I think I’m still angry about it.

Though we now know there were no weapons of mass destruction, let alone an imminent threat from Saddam Hussein, nobody’s feet have been held to the fire for the decision to invade a country and destabilize a region on the basis of these false premises.

Some have said it is not wise to prosecute past leaders for their crimes, but I think that discredits the service and sacrifice of so many. Roughly 4,500 Americans and an estimated 200,000 Iraqi civilians died in the war. Many more continue to struggle with the aftermath of injuries sustained during the conflict.

The physical wounds have evolved, but the psychological trauma continues for many veterans. They say that part of healing is closure. But can one fully heal if there are lingering feelings of resentment?

“Can one fully heal if there are lingering feelings of resentment?”

I was one of the lucky ones: I didn’t suffer any physical injuries in the war, but my disagreement with so many aspects of the conflict has prevented me from finding closure, from moving on from the fact it was an unjust war. I feel like I need to keep fighting for those who still need help.

I saw firsthand what was happening to the Marines I was helping treat in Iraq, I later saw it in the patients I took care of as a doctor at the Veterans Affairs clinic in Los Angeles, and I continue to see the struggles so many of my fellow veterans deal with to this day. They can’t move on from the Iraq War, either.

One of the few things politicians from both parties can agree on is that we must “support our veterans.” Thus, it is baffling to me that even one veteran sleeps on the streets at night, let alone the tens of thousands who actually do, and that countless other veterans cannot access the mental health, social support, and benefits they need. Not only did we send them into an unjust war and let those accountable off scot-free, now we turn our backs on them when they need our help to recover from the wounds we caused.

» READ MORE: Memories of the Iraq War, my interpreter’s tragic end, and the horrors caused by hubris

As a veteran who is still angry about the war, it would do me so much good to see an independent commission with broad authority and ability to subpoena key decision-makers in the Iraq War. I want to watch these U.S. authorities have to answer for their mistakes in the run-up to the war, the conflict itself, and the aftermath. I want to see them indicted, if that’s indicated. I know many of my fellow veterans feel the same. Though much time has passed, it is never too late to right a wrong.

We can’t just hold people accountable — we have to help those who are still suffering. To improve veteran services, there are many proposals that have not received the funding and support they deserve. These include significantly bulking up mental health care resources at VA facilities, improving outreach for veterans in crisis, expanding veterans housing, ensuring access to care for all veterans in need, and simplifying the benefits process, so it’s easier for veterans to obtain the help that’s owed them. Though some of these efforts could be costly, we need politicians who are “for the troops” to start putting up the money that follows their rhetoric.

I am a doctor, but you don’t have to be an expert to know that a lot of people do OK with their health until they get a little older and the body starts to lose its ability to heal quickly. Old injuries and past traumas often rear their ugly heads again. The veteran community is no different.

Even though the war in Iraq was officially declared over in 2011, for so many veterans, the real war is just beginning. They deserve the closure and the assistance that a grateful — and regretful — nation would provide.

Manan Trivedi was born and raised in Berks County. He served as the battalion surgeon for the 1st Battalion, 5th Marines from July 2001 to June 2003.