Trans kids deserve our protection

On Sunday, June 5, my 16-year-old son Jeremy and I woke up early, ate a quick breakfast, applied sunscreen, and took the train from Elkins Park to the city for the PHL Pride Collective march and festival. He was wearing the trans flag that hangs on his bedroom wall wrapped around his shoulders like a superhero cape. We took along one of his friends and ran into others at the train station dressed for and ready to celebrate Pride.

In town, we met friends from our synagogue and colleagues from the organization where I work, Jewish Learning Venture, to march with a group called the J. Proud Consortium.

It was a beautiful, warm June morning, and I was filled with a mother’s awe at my child’s courage to be himself fully. I felt gratitude that my faith community was fully present and supportive of my child’s gender identity journey. The march and festival were full of the contagious joy that erupts when people do not have to conform and can fully celebrate who they are.

Throughout the day, one particular sign that many people carried stood out to us. It read: Protect the rights of trans children.

I do not take for granted how fortunate we are that during Jeremy’s gender identity exploration and coming out process, we’ve had numerous medical and social resources to support our family. Jeremy participates in a support group for Jewish LGBTQ teens through Jewish Family and Children’s Services of Greater Philadelphia, and we are one of many families in the area who utilize the excellent medical and therapeutic care at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia’s Gender and Sexuality Development Program.

His care from the providers at CHOP has helped my husband and me in navigating the new territory of parenting a trans teen. While we both have a wide circle of gay and lesbian friends, learning about gender identity has been new. We have other close friends whose children have transitioned genders, so we came to Jeremy’s journey with some experience and understanding, but we have definitely needed the kind of guidance that the CHOP program provides to support our child in the most comprehensive way.

Access to this kind of support is at the heart of what matters to us. We do not mourn the change in our son’s identity or wish he was anything other than who he is. But we are aware of the significant mental health challenges for trans children and teens who cannot safely be who they are. We are determined to protect not only the rights of our child and but also those of all trans children. Every child should be able to express themselves.

Our desire is set against the backdrop of other states that are targeting the rights of trans children, and even criminalizing parents who seek medical and therapeutic support. This reality is a shadow cast against Jeremy’s care, and so we will not remain passive about the necessity for gender-affirming medical care — here and across the country.

» READ MORE: 5 trans women in Pa. on the problems facing their community

For those who are reading my words and do not have a trans child, grandchild, student, neighbor, or friend, we ask that you learn more about how gender-affirming medical care can make all the difference for trans children and teens.

My words as a mother and advocate are from my heart, but even more immediate is the expression from my son, Jeremy:

I always knew that I liked my masculine side more and that I identified with it more. This year I realized that I was trans. I finally figured out who I was, and what gender expression made me most comfortable.

At first, when I came out, I felt like a burden and was afraid that people would be uncomfortable around the change. I then realized that I had so much support and that people were happy for me. I’m lucky to have support because not everybody has that.

I know that some people don’t support me, specifically the conservative party. They want to create new laws blocking me from living the way that I want to and need to. I’m not trying to take their rights away; why are they trying to take away mine? I’m not stopping them from living the way they want to. Why are they trying to stop me?

Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer is a writer and educator based in Philadelphia. Jeremy Kaplan-Mayer is a rising junior in high school who is passionate about the Marvel Cinematic Universe, comedy, and theater.