Mentorship at work matters for women. Here’s how to do it better. | Opinion
Combat "queen bee syndrome" in the workplace with trauma-informed mentorship.
Lately, I have been pondering my roles and responsibilities — not just as an emergency physician and public health specialist, but also as a woman and a mother. So much has been asked of women during this pandemic. Taking care of ourselves and each other remains critical.
Most of us, particularly those considered Gen X like me, didn’t learn how to set boundaries from watching female role models who had to fight to get a foot in the door. Instead, we learned it out of sheer necessity after pushing ourselves to the point of burnout. We can see this exhaustion playing out across all industries during the so-called Great Resignation, but it’s notable in the medical field where nurses, a traditionally female-dominated role, are leaving in droves.
As a woman who is mid-career in the medical field, my cohort and I are perhaps the first large group to look different than our predecessors in terms of race, socioeconomic background, ethnicity, and gender. Many women my age have had personal experience with queen bee syndrome — where senior women distance themselves from junior women due to their own experience with gender inequity in the workplace.
Although there are now more women in the workforce than there were 30 years ago, I still see some of my peers and women younger than me employ these tactics in an effort to maintain their footing within the power structure. This points to insidious problems with workplace culture and must stop.
However, I have also seen, and been helped by, strong women who were willing to nudge me forward by gently but deliberately pushing me toward roles and experiences in which I could develop and grow. These actions spoke volumes about the self-assurance and confidence they had cultivated. They were not afraid to help me, even though our profession seemed to have limited spaces for women.
It’s key that women pay deliberate attention to establishing a culture of safety. All women, not just those in leadership roles, must be intentional in how we mold our work environments and how we mentor and support the next generation of women in the workforce.
To help the next generation of female leaders, we should employ trauma-informed approaches in the mentorship of young women.
Trauma, including workplace trauma, is a complex interplay between an event or chronic exposure to traumatic events and the way an individual experiences them, resulting in a mental or physical effect on the body. When talking to young women who need advice, mentors could ask “What happened to you?” instead of asking “What’s wrong with you?” This helps see and address the whole person.
Trauma-informed mentorship also includes using “the four R’s”:
Realize that trauma may impact those around us and can be experienced in different ways in the workplace that reflect an individual employee’s coping strategies.
Recognize the signs of trauma that could include being hypervigilant or even withdrawn and reticent to engage.
Think about how to appropriately respond. Instead of immediately “blaming the individual,” we can open dialogue and employ supportive and not punitive or dismissive actions.
Most especially, all of us should seek to understand how our words and actions may inadvertently retraumatize those struggling to find or regain some balance.
For me, there is nothing more inspirational or motivating than the true authenticity, accomplishment, and courage of women leaders. It is empowering when they reach out a hand to help us along. The key characteristics I’ve seen among them are in essence the principles of the trauma-informed approach: safety, trustworthiness, mutuality, humility and responsiveness, peer support, and empowerment.
We don’t have to be top leaders in our field to do this. Each of us can follow these principles for those around us and those we support and mentor.
“All women, not just those in leadership roles, must be intentional in how we mold our work environments.”
Women’s History Month reminds us that women have changed the world. I, and other women my age, have benefited from those who came before. Let’s continue to push for more space for ourselves and those coming behind us. By reaching our hands out to pull others up the ladder with us, we can build the trust, equity, and safety that will allow everyone to thrive in the workplace.
Priya E. Mammen is an emergency physician and public health specialist. She is adjunct faculty of health and societies at the University of Pennsylvania and is on the board of advisers of the Villanova Law Institute to Address Commercial Sexual Exploitation. She writes monthly for The Inquirer about the future of public health in the region. @PEMammen