Troy Vincent: I grew up around domestic violence. It’s time for men to do their part.

This is not an easy story to hear, but I challenge you to stick with it.

My first introduction to violence against women came when I was around 7 years old.

It’s a very clear memory: My brother and I were shocked awake to the sounds of screaming, flesh hitting flesh, and my mother’s body being tossed against the wall. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, complete silence.

It wasn’t the last time. My mother’s boyfriend perpetrated this abuse for years. Crawling out from under the bed to find her in a puddle of her own blood was a scene we experienced too many times to count. Every day, a different spot.

Know what we remember just as vividly? The feeling that we were alone.

In our home in Trenton, the thin walls in our apartment complex couldn’t contain the blows, shrieks, and moans. We’d knock for help. We could hear neighbors come to their doors, look through the peepholes, and walk away. Nobody had the courage to open up. Not one person in our building had the will to help a battered woman and two scared children.

I’ve told this story across the country, oftentimes with my wife, who is a survivor of domestic violence, and daughter, a survivor of sexual assault. They are now frontline advocates and champions in ending violence against women and young girls.

Across the nation, women show up at these events. Women educate themselves. Women are doing the work. Women are making a difference.

But where are the men?

There aren’t enough men leading the fight. Men, it’s time to show courage, step up, and put an end to domestic violence. Continued silence implies that we are OK with this continuing to happen. Because here’s the thing: Violence against women is a choice. So is looking the other way.

Both have lifetime implications, both physically and psychologically.

Up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence each year. Boys who witness domestic violence are two times as likely to abuse their partners or children later in life.

Do the math. Domestic violence isn’t just your business, men — it’s your responsibility.

A woman is beaten every nine seconds in America. One in three women has suffered intimate partner violence. Nearly 20% of teenage girls say their boyfriends have threatened harm when facing a breakup. An average of four women are murdered by an intimate partner each day.

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Here at home, Philadelphia police respond to more than 100,000 domestic 911 calls annually. Domestic violence murders have more than doubled from 2020 to 2021; 43 victims lost their lives in Philly last year alone.

“Domestic violence isn’t just your business, men — it’s your responsibility.”

These numbers are sobering. What’s it going to take? This data doesn’t change unless men take a position. It’s our issue, too.

There are simple things that men — or anybody reading — can do.

If you witness an act of violence, try to create some separation between the victim and the perpetrator, or call the authorities. If you suspect that someone is being abused, share the National Domestic Violence Hotline with them. Commit the number to memory: 800-799-7233. That one simple act could save a life.

Learn how to speak with survivors so you’re not unknowingly revictimizing them or causing harm.

Don’t laugh at jokes about violence against women or girls. Humor lends itself to unacceptable behavior. Confront other men who are disrespectful or abusive.

Volunteer for a local domestic violence advocacy and service provider, such as Women Against Abuse in Philadelphia. Get involved with a national organization like the Joe Torre Safe at Home Foundation or A Call to Men.

Advocate for stronger policies in your workplace, such as sanctions against abusers that can help prevent domestic violence. Apply pressure to your state and federal legislators — demand they protect and reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act.

Men, we need to stand beside women as leaders in the fight against domestic violence and sexual assault. Men have a key role in creating a culture shift in our homes, communities, legislatures, and even places of employment.

Who’s with me?

Troy Vincent Sr. is the executive vice president of football operations for the National Football League and a former Pro Bowler with the Philadelphia Eagles. Vincent and his wife, Tommi, who chairs the board of directors for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, will be honored as the 2022 Advocates of the Year by Women Against Abuse Inc. in Philadelphia on May 18.